


History In The Making

by Zyruuu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Good Guy Mysterio, Memes, No Spoilers, Peter-centric, Plot, Social Media, THERE IS PLOT, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Twitter, for ffh or endgame, groupchats, more likely than you think, spider man ps4 elements, thanos getting cucked, thanos getting dicked?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 18,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zyruuu/pseuds/Zyruuu
Summary: One of a million Twitter fics set after Civil War and before Infinity War, cause fuck that.Princess Shuri ✓@shurispider-man is a cannibal because it’s a Fact that you swallow like 8 spiders in your sleep per yearPeter Parker ✓@peterparkouri thought that was a mythPrincess Shuri ✓@shurinot in Wakanda





	1. the accords

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know what im doing
> 
>  
> 
> for simplicity, fan accounts are the ones not verified

**The Avengers** **✓** _@AvengersHQ_

We are very pleased to announce that the Rogue Avengers will no longer be considered war criminals and will be staying at the Avengers upstate facility under house arrest with @IronMan supervising them. The situation will remain like this until the Avengers and the United Nations can come to an agreement in terms of the Sokovia Accords.

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

So they aren’t gonna be punished for the shit they caused?? Why are the ROGUE avengers being locked in the AVENGERS BASE ??????????????? ISNT THIS A BIT COUNTER-INTUITIVE

                 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                The fuck? They are literally terrorists. I bet Stark was forced into this because the UN think that they need the Rogues to fight aliens. #TeamIronMan

                 **so, you got detention**   _@capnmrcia_

                why are the accords being changed after half the avengers signed them?

                 **bzzzt** _@moth_

so where the winter soldier at #teamcap

                 **hulk**   _@sciencybrucie_

im glad they fixed things. the accords stripped them of basic human rights, and yeah, some aren’t even human, but they either were human or were made by us. they have emotions and instincts and free will. they deserve some respect. #TeamAvengers

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

I signed the Accords to take responsibility for the damage we cause during fights with extra-terrestrial and enhanced individuals, and Rogers refused to sign because he thought they took away our free will. The Winter Soldier, who had been brainwashed into assassinating people, would have been executed under the Accords or used as a weapon by the UN, which Rogers would not allow. We were both wrong and right at different times and for different reasons. We hope to resolve this with fair terms that do not require us to be labelled as property to the UN.

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

I am not being forced into housing the Rogues. There is a lot of tension between us right now, but we used to be a family and none of us want to break it any more than we already have. We both made mistakes and are trying to fix them. Even if things cannot go back to the way they were, we will always trust each other to have each other’s back when defending the Earth. Thank you for your support.

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

theres def something they aint tellin us

                 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

where’s Thor when you need him

                 **hawkeyyy** _@cawcaw_

im glad they’re at least trying #TeamAvengers

 

 

 

 **Harley Keener**   **✓** _@potatogun_

@AvengersHQ so who is actually of the avengers team now? like Spider-Man and King T’Challa both appeared to help out Iron Man

                 **The Avengers** **✓** _@AvengersHQ_

                In the event that the Earth and all life on her is at risk, Iron Man, Captain America, War Machine, Black Widow, Hawkeye, the Hulk/Bruce Banner, Thor, the Winter Soldier, the Falcon, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Man, Black Panther, Ant-Man, Doctor Strange, Captain Marvel, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Daredevil, Deadpool, and SHIELD will be called to battle. Everyone on this list from Iron Man to Scarlet Witch are considered Avengers.

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                why is the winter soldier considered an avenger but spidey not? :(

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                WAR MACHINE IS AN AVENGER YAS BITCH

 **sergeant james barnes**   _@thewintersoldier_

                woaaa that’s a lotta superheroes im in love

 

 

 **flash**   **✓** _@fastasfuck_

All this Avenger shit going down and I’m just here eating popcorn

                 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                when the world ends you will not be saved

 

 

 

 **Nick Fury**   **✓** _@DirectorFury_

I started the Avengers Initiative to defend the world from hostiles that threatened mankind. This will always be the case. They may not like each other, but at least they understand that they are teammates and that there may be lives at risk. Trust the Avengers to do the right thing if the time comes.

                 **so, you got detention**   _@capnmrcia_

                I don’t get why people give them so much shit for ACCIDENTALLY destroying parts of NY and Sokovia when the alternative is the whole world. They are superheroes, in every sense of the word. They stand up and make the tough decisions when one on else will.

                 **bzzzt** _@moth_

but most of the world ending situations we’ve had recently have been because of the avengers, right? loki attacked to like get back at thor and stark literally made ultron

                 **hulk**   _@sciencybrucie_

loki attacking wasn’t thor’s fault AT ALL, like thor wasn’t even here when he attacked, and tony wanted to build something to protect humanity. unfortunately, it ended up being a horror movie where the earth is taken over by the robots we created.

 

 

 

 **Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_

Tony and the other Avengers have been advised to stay away from the media and the news until everything calms down. We would all like to thank you for your continued support despite the recent events and ask that you stay safe since we know that there are alien hostiles and HYDRA still in the wind. Please report anything unusual to your local PD and it will be investigated by SHIELD, and if the need arises, the Avengers. Thank you.

                 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                im just glad its over for now

                 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                I love a Queen

                 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                I hope Mr Stark is doing okay :/

                 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                lmao thank god im so tired of the avengers being all over bbc news like

 

 

 

 **Damage Control**   **✓** _@SI_DamageControl_

We are happy to announce that Start Industries are planning to open Damage Control stations in every major country around the globe. It will take time, so please bear with us. Because of recent events, the second and third Damage Control building will be based in Germany and Australia.

                 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                Don’t you just love it when billionaires try to change the world for the better? #TeamIronMan

 **hawkeyyy**   _@cawcaw_

lol why australia

 **sergeant james barnes**   _@thewintersoldier_

prob so the stations are spread out around the world then theyre gonna fill in the gaps

                 **so, you got detention**   _@capnmrcia_

                I’m so happy

 

 

 

 **Thanos**   **✓** _@thanos_

@DrStrange wheres the stone

 **Stephen Strange** **✓** _@DrStrange_

                Fuck off

 

 

 


	2. spider-man's on a roll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god ??????? thank you so much for ur comments :))))))))))))
> 
> this is where it gets more spidey centric and dw he'll get an acc soon
> 
> also theres gonna be a lot of refs to spider-man ps4 cause i love that game so much

**Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Spider-Man’s new suit! Tony Stark endorses New York menace! Read more at [link].

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                is he really that much of a menace then?

 **empty** _@yeet_

                daaaaamn son that a fine ass suit

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

IS SPIDEY GONNA BE AN AVENGER

 

 

 

 **New York PD** **✓** _@NYPD_

Many thanks to Spider-Man for his help during the shootout at Times Square this morning. He saved a lot of officers’ lives today.

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

lmao make up ur mind NY do u like him or hate him

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                what a good boy

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                he’s ????? so brave ?????

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                the police need to up their game haha

**New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

BREAKING NEWS: Wilson Fisk has been apprehended at Fisk Tower by Spider-Man taken into custody by the New York PD. Captain Yuri Watanabe said that they ‘couldn’t have done it without Spider-Man’. [link]

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

all this spidey positivity is curing my acne

                **bzzzt** _@moth_

                ok but isn’t vigilantism illegal

 **Yuri Watanabe** **✓** _@captainyuri_

Spider-Man has never killed anyone while working with us. He uses his webs to pin down criminals and sends anonymous tips as to where they are. There is a protocol set if the time comes that Spider-Man goes rogue.

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

I didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than I did

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

lol spider-man’s on a roll

 **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                you’re late for class

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                FUCK

 

 

 

 **Hero Watch** _@HeroWatch_

Deadpool spotted in Queens! A bystander managed to film a video of him and Spider-Man talking. What could the masked anti-hero want with Queens’ Spider-Man? [link]

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                hm.

 

 

 

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

Tony Stark discusses his broken relationship with the Rogue Avengers [link].

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                poor tony

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                HE SAID THAT HAVING SPIDERMAN AROUND WAS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR IM LIVING

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                fuck the UN

 

 

**Avengers News** **✓** _@AvengersCentral_

Captain America: “I don’t see why I have to wait for permission from the UN and world leaders to defend the whole planet. The Avengers are not to be used to fight wars between ourselves. We may be based in America, but we do not work for America. We work for the people of planet Earth.”

                **King T’Challa** **✓** _@TheBlackPanther_

                He’s right.

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

                holy fuccck

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                go off cap

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_ and **Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_ retweeted:

 **Stark Industries** **✓** _@StarkIndustries_

The new StarkPhone has finally arrived! #StarkPhoneX2 and new wireless headphones are now available! [link]

                **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                I love it sm

                **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                I’ve made better

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                you literally made the black panther suit ofc you can do better

                **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                someone buy me one these phones are actually good

 

 

 

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

daily reminder that penis parker is a liar

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                even the devil thinks ur a dick

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                im not lying tho that’s the funny thing

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                how was ur date with black widow

 

 

**Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@themindstone can I come over

 **VISION** **✓** _@themindstone_

                I’m not allowed to talk to you

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks


	3. mr stark is a dumbass and t'challa is a furry

**Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

t’challa is a furry

                **King T’Challa** **✓** _@TheBlackPanther_

                Please stop.

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                so the king of Wakanda hates furries

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                racist

 **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                slander*

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                prejudice*

 

 

 

 **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_

my boy spider-man wont tell me how to get in the tower :(((((

                **Happy Hogan** **✓** _@SI_Happy_

                Oh thank god.

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

why is this so funny

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                are spidey and deadpool close????? how did they meet ????? I WANT ANSWERS GODDAMNIT

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

it’s time

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                to??

                **Betty Brant** **✓** _@betyourlife_

                It’s time to what Peter

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                to eat ass suck a dick and sell drugs

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                PETER

                **May** **✓** _@mayandbenparker_

                Peter do we need to talk

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                IT’S A JOKE MAY

 

 

 

 **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_ retweeted:

 **Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

[Video: The camera is at an unnaturally high angle, and heavy breathing can be heard, most likely Clint’s. Tony Stark is in the avenger’s kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a shirt with a bad science pun. Sizzling can be heard distantly. Tony turns; he is making a pancake. He goes to flip the pancake. The pan breaks as he lifts it up, the base soars through the air, and the handle stays in Tony’s hand. He looks at the mess on the floor and drops the handle with a loud sigh. Clint is trying to hold in his laughter. Tony walks out of the kitchen, leaving the room a mess. A creak can be heard next to Clint and the camera turns; Black Widow is next to him in the vent with a creepy smile on her face. “hey Clint” can be heard just before Clint screams and the video ends.]

                **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                hey

                **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Is that what that noise was? 😂

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                In my own home. How dare you.

**tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

oh my GOD

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                wh-why is hawkeye in an air vent

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

       CLINT’S SCREAM IMFVDBGYNHT

**bzzzt** _@moth_

I never thought I’d ever relate to a billionaire

**BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

The Avengers were seen enjoying some ice-cream, just after defeating what look like a rock golem this evening in Central Park.

[Photo: Iron Man (without the helmet), War Machine, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Captain America, and Spider-Man are gathered on a picnic table. They all look very tired but have smiles on their faces.]

**flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

     I knew Spider-Man was an Avenger

**spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

SPIDEY HELPED THEM AYYYYYYY

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                this is so wholesome

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                I was there! they all kicked ass today!!! spidey saved cap after he got yeeted in the air by the big bastard!!!!!

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                @AvengersHQ MAKE IT OFFICIAL ALREADYYYY

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                hm

**natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

@blackwidow do all the avengers have twitter

**Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

@IronMan @warmachine @Hawkeye @BruceBanner @SteveRogers @JBuckyBarnes @Falcon @themindstone @fairlyoddwanda

**natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

OH MY GOD SHE REPLIED

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

   SCARLET WITCH HAS TWITTER

**tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE HER THIS IS THE BEST TIMELINE

 **Stephen Strange** **✓** _@DrStrange_

Are you sure about that

**Elon Musk** **✓** _@elonmusk_

@IronMan hey babe

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Why do you do this

**empty** _@yeet_

ELON

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                tony x elon

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

I fuckign knew it

**can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

theyre gonna take over the world

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

mr stark is a dumbass

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                why

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                he drank the coffee dum-e made him

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                whats wrong with that

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                it wasn’t coffee, it was motor oil

**Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@originalsnake give me the stone

**Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

                hiss hiss motherfucker

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will there be plot????? who knows


	4. who is peter parker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit's abt to go down

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

is it wrong to water an apple tree with apple juice

 **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                cannibalism

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                :o

 **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                spider-man is a cannibal because it’s a Fact that you swallow like 8 spiders in your sleep per year

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                i thought that was a myth

 **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                not in Wakanda

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                why is peter just casually tweeting the Princess of Wakanda

 **Betty Brant** **✓** _@betyourlife_

                OHMY GOD ARE YOU GUYS DATING

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                Betty what

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                hm

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                what the fuck

 

 

 

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

Who is Peter Parker? [link]

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

Princess Shuri Of Wakanda Dating American High Schooler Rumors. [link]

 **Celebrity Central** **✓** _@CCentral_

Who is Princess Shuri’s new boyfriend? [link]

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

what

                **bzzzt** _@moth_

who are you

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                i am peter

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

howd u meet Shuri

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                uhh she visited america like a month ago

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                YEAH BUT HOW DID U MEET HER

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                SHE WAS AT AVENGERS TOWER AND I WORK THERE

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                aren’t u like 14 how do you work there

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                hhhh I got an internship w mr stark

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                HOW YOU GOTTA BE 18

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                MR STARK CAME TO MY HOUSE IT WAS SCARY

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                Its one thing to lie at school, but on the internet? tut tut tut

 

 

 

 **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

im not dating pete but we’re real good friends <3

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                :D

 **King T’Challa** **✓** _@TheBlackPanther_

                This is true.

                **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                holy shit

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

wHO IS THIS KID

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                how does a 15 y old PUNK get an internship at SI

 

 

 

 **Celebrity Central** **✓** _@CCentral_

King T’Challa of Wakanda addresses the rumors of Princess Shuri dating 15-year-old Peter Parker. [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

Princess Shuri and Peter Parker AREN’T dating, but their friendship is so wholesome, and here’s why. [link]

 

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

did talking to shuri really get me to 20k followers

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                apparently

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                that shit wild

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                okay but you still haven’t met Tony Stark I bet my car

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                you better give him the car then lmaooooooooooo

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                Why

                **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                Man’s got a selfie with him but you didn’t see cause you were at the dentist today

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                Photoshop

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                the strength of your denial physically hurts me

 

 

 

 **empty** _@yeet_

People are hating on this 15 year old kid y’all are disgusting

                **empty** _@yeet_

                ever think that this kid is really smart ???? and Stark was really impressed?? stranger things have happened

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                are you sure this is tony stark we’re talking abt

 **empty** _@yeet_

                literal aliens have invaded new york

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                but did they?

 **empty** _@yeet_

                What

**bzzzt** _@moth_

how does one get an internship at stark industries not hating like I genuinely want to know

                  **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                uh I applied and I guess they were impressed?? I didn’t hear back from them then mr stark is in my LIVING ROOM when I get home

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                what school you go to

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                normally id wouldn’t reveal personal stuff but since literally every news outlet have fucking DOXXED me I go to midtown school of science and technology

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                im not even joking like you can google my middle school grades

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                shit kid im sorry

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                id say its fine but I cant even leave my house without someone following me

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                mr stark has Happy picking me up every day like I just feel bad for him ngl

 **Happy Hogan** **✓** _@SI_Happy_

It’s not a problem when your safety is at risk, Peter.

                **empty** _@yeet_

                What the fuck is wrong with people

 

 

 

 **Celebrity Central** **✓** _@CCentral_

Tony Stark threatens to sue multiple media sources for revealing private information about his 15-year-old intern. [link]

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Iron Man threatens to sue Buzzfeed and other news sites. [link]

 

 

 

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

holy shit this has gotten waaay out of hand

                **empty** _@yeet_

is it not illegal to do that to a minor

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                doxing is illegal full stop

                **empty** _@yeet_

poor kid

                        

 

 

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

that’s what u get for lyin

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                ARE YOU FOR REAL

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                IT WAS A JOKE LEEDS

 **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                was it tho

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                YES IT WAS

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                Stark literally threatened a bunch of people for Parker id be dumb not to believe him after this fuckfest

 **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                so ur not gonna be a dick to him anymore?

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                lmao fuck off leeds I do what I want

**Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@originalsnake please

                **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

                sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of me not giving a fuck

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao spidey will be here soon


	5. spidey gets twitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im glad yall are liking thanos lmao

TO **PETER PARKER** > FROM **TONY STARK**

 **Tony:** Kid

 **Tony:** KID

 **Peter:** yeah?

 **Tony:** How you holding up?

 **Peter:** ehhh not gonna lie mr stark it’s pretty scary to have vans following me around

 **Tony:** Pep and I have an idea that may draw the attention away from you

 **Peter:** yeah?

 **Tony:** Make Spider-Man a Twitter

 **Peter:** you sure??

 **Tony:** Hopefully everyone will be too excited about that to be stalking you

 **Peter:** no but are u really sure coz ive asked before and u said no

 **Tony:** That was before I had to sue fucking Buzzfeed kid

 **Peter:** sorry

 **Tony:** It’s not your fault

 **Peter:** but if I didn’t talk to shuri this wouldn’t have happened

 **Tony:** There’s no way you could’ve known this was going to happen. You were just talking to a friend, so it’s really not your fault

 **Tony:** Pep as given the OK for Spider-Man, just don’t be stupid on it, K?

 **Peter:** thanks mr stark

 

 

 

 **spidey** _@iamspiderman_

hey bros, it's me, ya boy

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Good luck kid

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                SPIDEY OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD IS IT REALLY YOU

                **spidey** _@iamspiderman_

                hehe

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                HEY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU SAVED MY LITTLE BROTHER LIKE A MONTH AGO THANK YOU SO MUCH MY WHOLE FAMILY LOVES YOU <3333

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                hm.

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_ and **Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_ started following **spidey** _@iamspiderman_.

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

oof im verified now woooo

                **empty** _@yeet_

holy shitttt

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                SPIDEY GOT TWITTER

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                ohmygod ITS hAPPENING STAY CALM S T A Y  F U C K I N G  C A L M

                **Yuri Watanabe** **✓** _@captainyuri_

                Hey, Spider-Man! Good to see you online!

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                thanks yuri <3

                **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

SPIDER MAN IS HERE WWWOOOOHOOOOOOO

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                well ill be damned

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                this is epic

 

 

 

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

@iamspiderman hey so whyd you get twitter all of a sudden

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                uh why not

                **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                yeah but like,, does it have anything to do with @peterparkour

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                slightly? people know where he lives now so hopefully I can take the attention away from him for a bit

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                it’s not the only reason but it was kinda the tipping point you know

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                you’re so nice ohmygmrketryn

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

lol I lied I made this to expose Mr Stark

                **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

expose???????

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                oof what did he do this time

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                Mr Stark is actually a sof bean who watches movies w me every time I stay over and gives me ice-cream

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                what omg

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                that’s so cute

 

 

 

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

Oh my god Spiderman got twitter!!!!!!

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

Flash being thirsty on main disturbs me

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                stfu Brown

 **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                So much denial….

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                Hey im excited too!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                Yeah but you’re too cute to bully, Cindy

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                oh

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                Cindy will you go out w Abe

 **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                SPIDER-MAN WHA

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                woah what???? Abe… do u like me

 **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                Ye,,,,,,,,

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                We can go to taco bell after decathlon practice next Wednesday :)

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                holy fuck spidey

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                lmao

                **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                the fuck just happened 😂 😂

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                ;)

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                hi spiderman!!!!!!

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

hey everyone! I don’t know how active ill be on here but if you ever want to meet me, I spend a lot of time at @FEAST in Chinatown, so you can look out there or even help out! Thank you for all the kind words!!✌

                 **FEAST** **✓** _@FEAST_

                Thank for the shout out, Spider-Man! We’re always happy to see you here! <3

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

this is so wholesome my heart cant take it

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                this guy………….

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                there’s a basketball court legit right outside and he loves sitting on the fence n watching the games hes just,,,, so epic man

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                lmao time to start playing basketball again

 

 

 

 **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

@thanos hey ill tell you where the stone is

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                where

 **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

                up Thor’s ass

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the images were a pain in the ass lmao  
> i got them from my spider-man playthrough on the ps4 uwu


	6. mr stark is a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love tony stark

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Tony Stark is a Mess™

                **empty** _@yeet_

                spill the beans

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                he’s just ?? so confused

                **empty** _@yeet_

                about what

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                anything that isn’t iron man related

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                he doesn’t know how to Life properly so ive decided to teach him

                **empty** _@yeet_

                as a fanbase we are starved of tony stark content please keep us updated

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you can count on me, your friendly neighbourhood spider-man :))

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark can literally spend days in the lab without leaving. it takes the combined forced of myself and Ms Potts to get him to eat

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

                is he okay??? Is he like depressed or something??

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                i think he genuinely forgets most of the time, but he does have ptsd for obv reasons. he’s been doing a lot better since the other avengers came back though

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

                he’s so amazing 😍😍

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                mood honestly

 

 

 

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

@iamspiderman is that ur twitter handle cause of tony

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                haha yeah

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                so you must really admire him huh

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                Tony Stark is literally my h e r o. he proved that you don’t have to be a mutant or enhanced to be a superhero. Mr Stark built the og Iron Man suit in a cave with just his brain.. I mean,,,,, how iconic

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                spidey gushing over Tony Stark is my new aesthetic

                **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                wholesome af

 

 

 

 **Oscorp** **✓** _@Oscorp_

@iamspiderman How is Mr Stark these days?

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                better than u in every way imaginable

 **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

McFucking roasted

                **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

i guess spidey doesn’t like oscorp lmao

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                oscorp are pretty creepy tho ngl I heard they do human experiments

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

Weren’t those allegations proven false

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                idk osc still give off a weird vibe tho

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

tru tru

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

im gonna try and get Mr Stark to use twitter more

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                then he’ll be able to see u gushing over him

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                oh fuck yeah nvm

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                NOOO WHYD U SAY THAT

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                IM SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO

                **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                YOURE A TRAITOR TO THIS KINGDOM

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                please don’t hurt me ill do anything

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                Anything?

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                ANYTHING

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                then perish

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

oh my goddd

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

hahahhaah this is the BEST timeline

**FEAST** **✓** _@FEAST_

Thank you again, Spider-Man! Since your tweet about us, a lot more people have arrived and started helping out! #LoveYouSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you’ve helped me out before so it’s the least I could do!!!! 💖💖

 **Betty Brant** **✓** _@betyourlife_

Awwwwww 💖💖💖💖💖

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                #LoveYouSpidey 💖

**sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

so I went to @FEAST n played some basketball aND LOOK WHO I SEE ON A BREAK @iamspiderman

**boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

WOAAAA

                **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                BROS THIS IS EPIC

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                hahahha thanks for helping out man

                **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                yujijhfngbffdbthyuiyufyjdhtetbtNYHTRYTHERSHETY

**flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

@iamspiderman do u know @peterparkour

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

yeeeeee bruh he cool

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                FUCKING TOLD U ASSHOLE

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

hmmm

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

Woaaaaaa peter knows spider-man

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                Wow

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

maybe flash will stop being a dick now but who knows

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                shut the fuck up

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                guys please just stop fighting

 **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

sorry spidey

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                sorry dude

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark can’t cook for shit

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

explain!!!!

                **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                what did he fail to cook, o’ lord and saviour, spider-god?

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                he burnt the burgers cause he got distracted by DUM-E being a DUM-ASS downstairs

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                WHY WAS HE MAKING BURGERS AND WHO IS DUM-E

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                DUM-E is a robot Mr Stark made when he was younger to help him around the lab, and he wanted to cook dinner and watch a movie with me, vis, and wanda

 **VISION** **✓** _@themindstone_

                I think he should leave the cooking to me in the future.

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                ohmy god

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                did I read that right??

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                tony stark: the family man

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                #ironDAD

 **empty** _@yeet_

                Tony Stark is an ACTUAL DAD I love it #IronDad

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

he said he’ll look at twitter more :DD

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                he’ll see how much we all love him

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                god I hope so

**Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@themindstone can we at least talk it out

                **VISION** **✓** _@themindstone_

                Blocked

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the man himself shall appear soon uwu


	7. technology has finally overtaken us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey loki_of_jotunheim you have commented on every chapter so far like,,,, wo w thanks you keep me LIVING

**New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

New York’s own Spider-Man gets Twitter! [link]

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

NY Menace Spider-Man ‘exposes’ Iron Man. [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

Top Ten Tweets made by Spider-Man (and he’s only had it for two days). [link]

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

do you think god is lonely

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

I’m not lonely

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                MR STARK

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                oh my GOD

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                does that count as a dad joke #irondad

                **empty** _@yeet_

                yes

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@fairlyoddwanda can I get a waffle

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@fairlyoddwanda can I PLEASE get a waffle

                **VISION** **✓** _@themindstone_

                I’m not sure you really want her cooking, Spider-Man.

                **Scarlet Witch** **✓** _@fairlyoddwanda_

                wo w rude someone is sleeping on the couch

                **bzzzt** _@moth_

does vision even need to sleep

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                tony stark’s children, everyone

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                I dunno whats funnier: spider-man begging scarlet witch to make him a waffle or the fact that they all seem to act like delinquent children, which just makes me imagine tony stark going grey trying to reign them all in

                **FRIDAY** **✓** _@SI_FRIDAY_

                Boss has indeed acquired more grey hairs since he began mentoring Spider-Man.

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                holy shit FRIDAY has twitter

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

who is Friday and why do they know about tony starks grey hairs

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                FRIDAY is Mr Stark’s AI and she’s like,,, my best friend

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                that is cute af

                **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                :(

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                KAREN oh my GOSREBTNYRmu

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

WHO IS KAREN

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                KAREN is the AI Mr Stark made for ME!!! KARE IM SORRY I LOVE YOU

                **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                :)

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

                jesus fuck this thread is a mess

 

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

I broke my nail now I gotta cut off my arm

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

will it grow back

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                only one way to find out

                **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                I strongly advise against this action.

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                >:)

 **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                :(

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                :o

 **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                :(((

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                ok im sorry

 **KAREN** **✓** _@SI_KAREN_

                :)

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                what just happened

 **empty** _@yeet_

                spider-man x karen

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                dear god

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

I didn’t program KAREN OR FRIDAY to get Twitter I don’t even kn

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                THEY KILLED HIM BEFORE HE COULD FINISH

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

THEYRE GONNA TAKE OVER

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                lol what hes right here

                [Image: Tony has his feet up on a table in front of a TV eating cereal.]

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

bro that aint him THAT IS A ROBOT DUPLICATE

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                oh no

                **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

what??

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                THEY GOT SPIDER-MAN

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                THIS MUST BE THE DARKEST TIMELINE BOTH IRON MAN AND SPIDER-MAN ARE D E A D

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                WHAT DO WE DO

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                AVENGE THE FALLEN

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                EAYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

 

 

 **Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_

Tony and Spider-Man are FINE. They are not dead or hurt. FRIDAY and KAREN cannot disobey them or put human beings in harm's way. Vision and Wanda made them Twitters and convinced them that it was a good idea. None-the-less, EVERYTHING is fine.

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Spider-Man running around the compound screaming that technology had finally overtaken us was pretty funny though not gonna lie.

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                pls don’t expose me like this Mr Rhodes

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                What’s even funnier is that Tony believed you. 😂😂

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                I take offense to this ENTIRE conversation.

                **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                @Hawkeye @Falcon I got them screaming at each other on video

                **Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

SEND IT TO ME

 **Sam Wilson** **✓** _@Falcon_

                Oh wow

 

 

 

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@DrStrange hey

                **Stephen Strange** **✓** _@DrStrange_

                No

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i've seen less than half of the mcu films  
> i havent even seen endgame lmao


	8. how old is spider-man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know mysterio is a bad guy but i love jake gyllenhaal so goddamn much 
> 
> i want beck and peter to be buds in far from home but i know im gonna get a kick in the ass

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

me and @mysterio stopped a mafia bar brawl today it was WILD

                **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

                You give me so much anxiety

                **Steve Rogers** **✓** _@SteveRogers_

I thought you weren’t old enough to drink?

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                I had orange juice don’t worry Mr Rogers

 

 

 

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

so apparently spidey isn’t old enough to drink

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

I figured he was young cause of the way he talks but like,,,, not old enough to drink? yikes

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                spider-man is actually spider-baby

                **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

I dunno how I feel abt this kid swinging abt fighting criminals now… is he in college??

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                if he was he’d be dead trying to juggle that and being spider-man every day

                **empty** _@yeet_

                fucking zoinks

 

 

 

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

How old is Queen’s Superhero? [link]

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

IS NEW YORK’S SPIDER-MAN A MINOR? [link]

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

Spider-Man is TOO YOUNG to drink, is he too young to be a superhero? [link]

 

 

 

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

hey @iamspiderman how old are you

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                not yet

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                wh-wha?

                **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

spidey’s gone insane

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                probably exams if he is in college lmao

                **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

pFFFFFFFT

 

 

 

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Is Tony Stark making a child soldier? [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

CEO of Stark Industries Pepper Potts denies the allegations that Tony Stark may be forcing Spider-Man to be a superhero. [link]

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

Did Tony Stark MAKE Spider-Man? [link]

 

 

 

TO **PETER PARKER** > FROM **PEPPER POTTS**

 **Pepper:** Can you fix this? I’d do it myself or get Tony to, but I don’t think the media will accept that. Just tell the truth, but you can’t mention your exact age or Oscorp.

 **Peter:** I’m already on it Ms Potts

 **Peter:** wait why not oscorp

 **Pepper:** It would cause a scandal that we really can’t handle right now.

 **Peter:** but wouldn’t it get the attention away from Mr Stark?

 **Pepper:** It would, but not away from you.

 **Peter:** should I even keep the twitter? i feel like im just causing more problems that it’s worth

 **Pepper:** All these issues would come to light eventually. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. But you directly addressing this would ease the public more, as they know we’re not controlling you. It’s the reason the PR team aren’t monitoring you. Tony and I want you to enjoy yourself, Peter.

 **Peter:** thank you Ms Potts :)

 **Peter:** ill do what I can 💖

 **Pepper:** 💖

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

ok what the fuck?

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark didn’t force me to do anything. I was Spider-Man before I met him. I’m young, and I decided helping people was something I felt I needed to do because I suddenly got the ability to do so. Mr Stark let me use his tech and began training me, so I’d be able to protect myself better. 1/5

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

The suit he made for me has a bunch of safety protocols, it automatically contacts him if I’m in any serious danger. It even has an AI to help me through sensitive situations, like a saving a hostage or disarming a bomb. 2/5

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

I’m not gonna stop if he cuts contact with me. I’m an enhanced human (not because of Mr Stark), so I’m not gonna sit back while people get hurt. If I have the ability to help, I will. When you can do the things that I can, but don't, the bad things happen because of you. 3/5

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark gave me the chance to really help people and gave me protection. He’s saved my life more than once. He’s told me more than once to focus on school, hell, he even gave me a curfew. He’s done what he can is a messy situation, and he’s not training me to fight his battles. He asked for help in Germany, and I gave it because he’s a good guy. I helped him even if I didn’t agree with the Accords at the time.  4/5

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

He’s the most remarkable man I’ve ever met, and he’s doing all he can to keep me safe without forcing me to stop. I’m not a child soldier or a weapon. I’m just here to help the little guy while the Avengers deal with the things the Avengers team were formed to do. 5/5

 **J. Jonah Jameson** **✓** _@JJJ_

                THIS!!! This is how to be a responsible superhero. If he's that young, then fine, he can keep the mask. Why? Because his mentor is freaking Iron Man. He can put Spider-Man in his place if he messes up. I’ve been saying he needs the training, he needs a badge, and now he’s getting that! He’s not going to stop; this is LITERALLY THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION. Now, these superheroes just need to stop destroying every building they have a fight in.

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

GO OFF SPIDEY

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                you know shits real when fucking JJJ agrees with Spider-man

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                holy shit ????

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                #SpiderSon protecting his #IronDad

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                so he got his powers and decided to help ordinary people???? literally how many people do that? new york is LUCKY he isn’t evil like electro or scorpion

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                why do the media hate Stark so much

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                the headlines get them clicks so they get money, its just that the bad stuff is also the juicy stuff

                **empty** _@yeet_

spidey’s gonna slap a bitch

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                spidey’s gonna kill the next person to insult his #irondad

                **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                he’s so protective of him its so cute

                **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                YEEEAHHHHH SPIDER MAN YOU TELL ‘EM!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

Spider-Man explains why he became a superhero! [link]

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Here’s what J. Jonah Jameson has to say about Spider-Man. [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

Who is the Spider-Man? [link]

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@IronMan can we go get donuts

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Sure kid

 

 

 

**TRENDING**

#SpiderMan

#TonyStark

#IronDad

#WhoIsSpiderMan

#JustTheFacts

 

 

 

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

I'd fuck Thanos

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                i don’t even know who you are

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dickening of thanos - coming soon
> 
> this is because of you bombpops


	9. d&d & q&a

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof big chappie

**spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

@peterparkour hey u still alive

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                lol yeah life is great

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

are you being sarcastic

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                no no life is epic rn

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                after the whole suing thing mr stark did he moved me into the tower w my fam. I had a bodyguard for a while but things calmed down so everythings bk to normal pretty much

                **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                glad ur doing ok kid <3

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                thank ye kind sir

 

 

 

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

me, in the lead: I’ve got you now Spider-Man! Prepare to meet your end!

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                me, about to KICK ASS: youre like a father to me

                **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

me, dying: What the fuck

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

What is going on here

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

we’re playing d&d

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Don’t you need like 6 players for that

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Wait why did you say he was like a father to you

                **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

Me, Spider-Man, one of his friends, Deadpool, KAREN and Shuri are here playing

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                all my father figures are dead, Mr Stark. tis a joke

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Am I a joke to you?

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                wh at

 

 

 

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

spidey?? DEADPOOL??? KAREN????????? SHURI???????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

they just chillin playing dnd what legends

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

did tony stark meme

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                I think he did oof

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

we stan an icon

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

q&a??? please use #AskSpidey thank

                **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                YESSS!!!!!!!!!

                **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

yes please daddy

 **empty** _@yeet_

YASSSS SPIDEY

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

do it coward

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

oh GOD YES

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                DOOO ITTTTTTTT UWU

**spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

whats ur sexuality? opinion on gender? You don’t have to answer this one I love you #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

uhhhh pan I guess? ive never really thought abt it. ive never been bothered with what someone identifies as. Just tell me what to call u and we good.

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

spider-man is an ally yessssssssss

 

 

 

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

how’d you meet Iron Man? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

he tracked me using the videos from youtube n asked for help in Germany. we’ve gotten pretty close since then

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

CUTE

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

whooolesomee

**daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

have you met thor ??????? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

god I want to. he and Dr Banner disappeared after Ultron

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

we could ask loki he has twitter

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

what

 

 

**hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

#AskSpidey whats your name?

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

I am Spider-Man. Spider-Man and I are one

                **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

are you low-key quoting Iron Man

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

all the time

 

 

**natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

u single? any crushes?? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

uhhhuhmmmm NEXT

 **empty** _@yeet_

SPIDEY HAS A GF/BF

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

WHO HAS OUR LORD’S HEART

 

 

 

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

what r ur super powers? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

uh im sticky (sorry im not allowed to say what isn’t already public knowledge)

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

I assume he has super strength cause of the video of him stopping that car

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

true

 

 

**so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

#AskSpidey are you sticky or is the suit sticky

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

me. I stick to things. sometimes I attach myself to the ceiling and jump down to scare Mr Stark.

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

oh my god

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

lmaooooooo

 

 

**boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

best and worst part of being spider-man? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

best: literally met my idol because of it. worst: not being able to save everyone.

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

CUTECUTECUTECUTE, also v sad. #LoveYouSpidey

 

 

 

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

#AskSpidey Are you liking the New Accords so far?

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

yes!!!!!!!!!!! Mr Rogers and Mr Stark still have arguments once in a while, but they seem to agree on most of the new terms

 **empty** _@yeet_

that’s gud to hear

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

yayyyyyyyy #TeamAvengers

 

**sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

#AskSpidey is this you? [Video: It is wednesday my dudes.]

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

god I wish

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

i love that video

 

 

**can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

were you born in NY? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

nyc queens born and rasied

                **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

fighting criminals was where I spent most of my days

 

 

**empty** _@yeet_

Any siblings? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

not biologically. but I have vison and wanda <3333333

 **VISION** **✓** _@themindstone_

I am very fond of you, too, Spider-Man.

 **Scarlet Witch** **✓** _@fairlyoddwanda_

                Love you bud x

 

 

**bzzzt** _@moth_

#AskSpidey who’s your best friend

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

uh in the in the avengers, id say Mr Stark or Ms Romanov

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Yeah but I’m first right

 **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

Excuse me

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

uh um ahhahah oof Ms Romanov is my best friend

 **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

good.

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Okay give me back the suit 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

no!!!! Mr Stark im sorry!!!!! Ms Romanov is my best friend but youre like a father to me pls dad

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

Kid, you broke him. 😂😂

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

:ooo

 

 

**irene adler** _@sherlocked_

how old were you when u got ur powers? #AskSpidey

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

high school age. I wandered off on a field trip and came home really sick (im not allowed to give details, sorry)

                **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

that’s okay thank you for sharing xxxx

**spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

ok Ms Potts said it’s time to stop now hhahah thank you for ur questions uwu I love u all

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

spidey just uwu’d

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

I love him

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

he called tony stark dad and broke him

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

lmAOOOOOOO

**illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

pants: down

dick: out

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                stay away from my house you goddamn fishbowl headed bitch

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dickening of thanos is a slow burn
> 
> yes that is a pun


	10. mj and pranks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god theres a new trailer + CLIP FROM THE MOVIE!!!! Jake as Mysterio is literally my favourite thing EVER  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gdOXbLhwRI
> 
> i really want him to have an arc that lasts more than one film,,, that would be so EPIC uwu  
> like,, Fury appears to be building a new Avengers team n like.... Mysterio? a good boy. i dont fckuign CARE IF HES BAD I LOVE HIM

TO **PETER PARKER** > FROM **MICHELLE “MJ” JONES**

 **MJ:** are you spider man

 **Peter:** what

 **Peter:** what makes you say that

 **MJ:** spider man literally just did a q&a and every answer is something you’d say

 **Peter:** that doesn’t mean im the spider-man mj

 **MJ:** ive had suspicions previously though

 **Peter:** HOW

 **MJ:** you and ned aren’t as quiet as you think

 **Peter:** oh

 **MJ:** so

 **MJ:** are you spider man

 **Peter:** yeah

 **Peter:** you can’t tell anyone!

 **MJ:** obviously not loser

 **MJ:** you have a mask for a reason

 **MJ:** and you’re my friend so

 **Peter:** aw

 **Peter:** mj!!!!!!! <3333333

 **MJ:** shut up you’re still a loser

 **Peter:** but im your loser???? :))))

 **MJ:** yeah

 **Peter:** :)

 **Peter:** thank you mj, for real though

 **MJ:** :)

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

so a friend of mine fuckin FIGURED OUT I WAS SPIDER-MAN

                **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

who

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                lmao someone figured it out?????? Bro u gotta be more stealthy

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                how unfortunate. can we meet them?

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

lmao Mr Stark is calling me now what a dad

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                what a dad lmaooooooooo

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                Stark’s probably shitting himself

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                image raising 2 enhanced teenagers and an android

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Children should be banned from Twitter

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                omg what did spidey say to him

 **empty** _@yeet_

                this tweet,,,, has an energy about it…. hmmmm

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                bood

 

 

 

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

:)

 

 

 

 **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark ate my sandwich >:(

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                You literally almost gave me a heart attack

                **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                doesn’t mean you can EAT MY SANDWICH

                **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Want me to get some take out? I’m on my way to the compound.

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                yes please!!!! thank you Mr Rhodes!!! at least someone loves me

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                wait

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                MR STARK YOU ASS

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Language

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you started this war

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                I beg to differ

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                then beg.

 

 

 

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

do I sense,,,,, a prank war???

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                oh my god the tony content im lov

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                sooooo…… #teamspidey or #teamtony ?

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                oh my god

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

suck it

[Video: First person view of Spidey. In his left hand is a narrow container with the label _SALT_ on it. Spidey walking into a kitchen and sees a steaming coffee on the bar table. He uses his thumb on the lid and pours a hella load of salt in. Like, the cup was now 25 percent salt. Soon, Mr Stark will be too. Spidey can be heard giggling, but he quickly goes quiet. Unbeknownst to the audience, he can hear the toilet flushing. Spidey quickly runs to the edge of the room, the camera still pointed at the cup. The angle gradually points down as the camera gets higher; Spidey is climbing the wall. Tony walks in the room, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl, takes his coffee and takes a large swig of it. No less than a second later, he spits it out. The camera appears to fall as Spidey couldn’t keep quiet with his laughing. A soft ‘oh shit’ can be heard before Spidey take off down a hallway. Tony can be heard in the background saying ‘you FUCKING RED SPANDEX WEARING BRAT’ before the video cuts off.]

                **Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

                Oh my god kid we gotta team up

****spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_**

                yeah!!!!!!

 **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                can I join in

****spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_**

                yes! of course!!! lettuce avenge my sandwich!

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Oh no

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Don’t worry Tony, I’m on your side. 😂😂

 **Steve Rogers** **✓** _@SteveRogers_

                #TeamTony I got you too

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                This is war kid

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Punk

[Video: Tony is holding the camera in the selfie view. He has a Hulk mask on, and the only light is coming from the phone he is holding. He holds a finger to his lips as he walks to a room. He opens the door slowly and sneaks in. The room is colourful, red being the most prominent. There are Star Wars and Avengers posters on the wall. The camera turns to a small form in a double bed on the other side of the room. You can’t see his face, but there is brown hair sticking out from under the blanket. Tony makes a gesture with his free hand and a red glow appears around the room, making it look really creepy. Tony steps towards the bed, and the floor creaks as he moves. He gets close enough to the foot of the bed without waking Spidey, and crawls on top of the covers, getting closer to Spidey’s face. Spidey inevitably wakes up, and his (blurred) eyes widen at the site of a dark figure crawling on his bed and he lets out a very high-pitched scream. Tony can be heard laughing and the video cuts out.] **[insp.[this vine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYIHy1JAvDo)** **]**

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you MONSTER

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                >:)

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@IronMan I found a new job fuck u

 

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Kid no please I’m sorry

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                are u tho

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Wanna go McDonalds

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                yeah

 

 

 

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

is it over

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                I think so

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                that was wild ngl

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                tony is SUCH A DAD

 **empty** _@yeet_

                so who won

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                spidey did for sure. Stark apologised

 

 

 

 **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

just because Stark and the kid have given up doesn’t mean we have <:))))

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you want a burger

                **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                yes please

 

 

 

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

@NYPD hello yes id like to report a crime

                **New York PD** **✓** _@NYPD_

                What seems to be the problem?

                **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                they wont LEAVE

                [Image: Mysterio and Deadpool are crouched behind a bush next to a fence. The photo was taken from a second story window, pointing down at the two.]

                **New York PD** **✓** _@NYPD_

                We’re afraid we cannot help you with this particular issue, sir.

                **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                why

                **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_

                because the dickening has already begun baby

                **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

                what do you m

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HE BEEN DICKED BOYS


	11. the new accords

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

bruh,,,,,,,, just signed the new accords

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

DUDE REALLY

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

OH MY GOD BRO

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

did the others sign???????????

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

are you even old enough to sign a contract

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

I had to co-sign with Mr Stark…….

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                LITERAL SPIDER-B AB Y

 

 

 

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

BREAKING NEWS: The United Nations Release the New Accords. [link]

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

NEW ACCORD TERMS ALLOW MORE FREEDOM FOR SUPERHEROES AND ENHANCED INDIVIDUALS [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

The UN have FINALLY released the New Accords months after the Avengers ‘Civil War’! [link]

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

BREAKING NEWS: COULD THE NEW ACCORDS BE THE END OF US ALL? [link]

 

 

 **Steve Rogers** **✓** _@SteveRogers_ , **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_ , and **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ retweeted:

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Here you go…

[screenshot of a SHIELD file]

**THE NEW ACCORDS**

  * Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the SHIELD and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.
    * Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to SHIELD. Individuals do not have to reveal their identities to the general public. **[Spider-Man Case]**
    * Those with innate powers must participate in a power analysis, which will categorize their power level and determine their Class, which will be revealed to the public. **[Hulk Case] [Scarlet Witch Case]**
    * Those with innate powers must inform SHIELD if they leave the country or state. **[Sokovia Case]**
  * Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own, unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government SHIELD representee or by a United Nations subcommittee.
    * Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders, unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including the Avengers). **[Wakanda Case]**
  * Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will be located and taken into questioning by SHIELD.
    * They will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.
    * As a result, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such the Avengers). **[Scarlet Witch Case] [HYDRA]**
  * Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extra-legal vigilante activities) or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely preceding a trial. **[Spider-Man Case] [Daredevil Case] [Deadpool Case]**
    * If an enhanced individual violates the New Accords or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the New Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely preceding a trial.
  * The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities must be regulated (the Winter Soldier), as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry). **[War Machine Case]**
    * The creation of self-aware artificial intelligence is completely prohibited. **[Ultron Case]**
  * The Avengers will stay a private organization and will operate under the supervision of SHIELD.



For the purposes of the New Accords, an "enhanced individual" is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities. This includes individuals whose powers are an innate function of their biology as well as individuals who utilize highly advanced technology to grant themselves superhuman capabilities. However, individuals with advanced prostheses do not seem to be considered "enhanced", even if their prostheses give them capabilities beyond those of ordinary humans. 

All members of the Avengers are subject to the same conditions as enhanced individuals, even if they are not enhanced themselves: Black Widow and Hawkeye were required to sign so they could continue serving on the Avengers.

 

                **bzzzt** _@moth_

fat oof

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

so… enhanced ppl still have to do a test???

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                how is this any better?

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                spidey signed so I reckon this will be okay I guessss

                **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                they aren’t gonna fight again are they

                **tony <3 **_@iamironman_

THE FUCK DOES CLASS MEAN

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                lol are we gonna find how who the strongest avenger is

 **J. Jonah Jameson** **✓** _@JJJ_

                THIS!!!!!! I APROVE

                **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

                hm.

 

 

 

 **The Avengers** **✓** _@AvengersHQ_ , **SHIELD** **✓** _@SHIELD_ and **Nick Fury** **✓** _@DirectorFury_ retweeted:

 **Hero Class** **✓** _@SHIELD_CLASS_

[link]

 

 

 

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Spider-Man is TOO YOUNG to sign the Accords! [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

The Enhanced must contact SHIELD at Avengers Tower to be tested for a power Class! [link]

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

SHIELD Release superhero ranks! [link]

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

ok now im insulted

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                what happened

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

I did the class test and they mcfucking score me an A???? bitch please ive beaten up captain icicle

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                oh my god spidey

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

spidey beat up Captain America????? WHEN

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                didn’t they fight in germany

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Class A? Ha @iamspiderman you need to step up your game

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                >:(

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                I can beat you up too

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                HEY GIVE IT BACK

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                What happened?????

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                the suit FLEW OFF ME now im on a roof NAKED

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                pleaSE MR STARK IM SORRY

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

:)

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

oh thank god

 

 

 

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

Top 10 Strongest Avengers According to SHIELD’s New Hero Class System! [link]

 

 

 

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

whom the frick frack is captain marvel and why is she ranked SS

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

holy????? Shit?????????

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

I don’t even know her and I stan

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                bitch is no where near as strong as my boy Thor

                **empty** _@yeet_

                bitch????????? scarlet witch could kick her ass

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                doubt but go off I guess

 

 

 

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

iron man? rank S? hot

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                hard agree

                **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

holy fuck I want him to blast me with his repulsors

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

god what a mood

 

 

 

 **empty** _@yeet_

cap is S rank I can live

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                lol even the winter soldier S

                **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                there appears to be a lot of S ranks but that just means were are v protected uwu

                **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                why is falcon only rank B isn’t he literally an avenger

                **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                probably cause his literal ability is flying,,, if one of his wings gets taken out hes just gonna like,, fall to his death

               

 

 

 **Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

@Falcon Class B? let’s cry together my friend

                **Sam Wilson** **✓** _@Falcon_

                Literally broke the jetpack the day of the test. End me.

 

 

 

 **not the green lantern** **✓** _@deadpool_

geeze. that trial sure was a doozie. im exhausted

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                bitch!!!!!!!!!!!! u class A too!!!!!!!!!

 **not the green lantern** **✓** _@deadpool_

bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 uwu

 

 

 

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

@iamspiderman so what did the test entail?

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                there was a physical test, like some strengthened punching bags and like a stamina thing,,, uh weight lifting. I had to put my finger under a microscope so they could see how I stick to things. there was a track to see how fast we were too. there was an written test we had to do which basically tested our intelligence on civil matters, science stuff, survival stuff.  They were both marked out of 50 and I got like 40 ish on both. S rank is real hard to get and I think Mr Stark got 50 in the written test so oofta

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                holy shit dude

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                duuuude that’s awesome

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                no experimenting then? did they take blood samples?

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                yeah but it was so they could analyse my mutation. only one person has access to the blood files as SHIELD so they cant be used to make more Enhanced

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                someone trustworthy tho? So no one can use it against you?

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                yeah we all trust the guy hes awesome

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                good.

 **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

MJ just had a full convo w spiderman oh my god

 **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

Woaaaaaa awesome you go girl

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

thats SO epic mj uwu uwu

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                -.-

 

 

 

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

Class A. Epic meme

                **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                YOU are an epic meme

                **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

Gasp!! M’lady

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                bECK GO BACK TO REDDIT YOU MONSTER

                **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

*tips fedora*

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@mysterio @deadpool did I miss something

 **not the green lantern** **✓** _@deadpool_

oh HONEY

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

                You don’t wanna know kid

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                WHO IS THANOS AND WHY DID YOU DICK HIM?

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

                I SAID YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW

 **not the green lantern** **✓** _@deadpool_

he’s a big boy if you know what I mean 😏

 **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_

                He’s too young stop this

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                dear god you went to his hOUSE

 **not the green lantern** **✓** _@deadpool_

he loved it dw spider baby boo 😏

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                Blocked

 

 

 

 **Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

ouch

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i blame one punch man for this particular development ngl


	12. free hugs and acdc [END OF PART 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of you are really enjoying the dickening of thanos and i dont know how to feel about that

**doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

@iamspiderman what thefciujk, gh

**tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                booty

                **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

what is he doing

**boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                HE CLIMB

**sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                and I thought id seen it all with the god of mischief and literal aliens invading ny, but no, this beats EVERYTHING

                **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                booty

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                booty.

 

 

 

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

psa: if you see me and shout ‘free hugs’, there is a 99% chance that I will stop what im doing and hug u

                **empty** _@yeet_

                finally some good fuckin food

**bzzzt** _@moth_

                speaking of psa’s

                [Video: “so, you got detention.”]

**so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                10/10 a top tier meme

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                @steverogers @ironman

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Why haven’t I seen this before @warmachine @blackwidow @Hawkeye @Falcon

**James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Holy mother of God.

**Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                holy shittttttttt

**Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

                how do I save a video on twitter?

**Sam Wilson** **✓** _@Falcon_

                I was wondering when you’d find these!

**bzzzt** _@moth_

                ohmygodohmyGOD

**Captain America** **✓** _@SteveRogers_

                Oh no

**Bucky Barnes** **✓** _@JBuckyBarnes_

                Oh yes

 

 

 

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

mr stark listens to acdc every time I come over and im struggling to cope honestly

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

dude,,,, u get to jam out with Iron Man

**mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                oh so youre using Twitter again

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                the world needs to know that tony stark is a Dumbass™

**tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                what cereal does he eat

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                lucky charms

**can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                what cereal does spidey eat

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                lucky charms

**natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                what cereal do you eat

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                lucky charms

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                mr stark only buys lucky charms.

**Lucky Charms** **✓** _@LuckyCharms_

                !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

 

 

 

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

the number of thugs that have shouted ‘knife to meet you’ at me is disappointing

**tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                how many??

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                too many.

**daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                nyc thugs are unoriginal and steal each other’s jokes

**bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                time for an intervention

 

 

 

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

YEET

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                OH MY GO D I SHOUTED FREE HUGS AND–

                

                **bzzzt** _@moth_

holymcfucking jeebus christ GOd

**irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                I FUCKING SAW THIS IT WAS NEAR TIMES SQUARE

**doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                this image is so fucking funny

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                is this how people see me oh my god

**Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

                Mood

 

 

 

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

you could shop at 5 or 6 stores or just 1

 **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                i dont need friends they disappoint me

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                i feel like a deer in the headlights of love

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                honey you got a big storm coming

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                MR STARK

 

 

 

**tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

Tony Stark knows memes

                **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                im a hundred percent sure its because of his kids

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                yeah that’s tru

                **Harley Keener** **✓** _@potatogun_

                that is correct

 

 

 

**Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

[Video: Nat is walking downstairs to Tony’s lab and loud music can be heard throughout the floor. She walks towards the glass wall and films what is happening inside. Peter and Tony are jamming out to AC/DC. Tony is using a screwdriver as a microphone and Peter is standing on the table with a hammer doing the same. DUM-E is jigging out too.]

**NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                dudedude dude I thought you didn’t like acdc

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                its alright

**mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                peter beginning to like acdc because of Stark is very cute and highly disturbing

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                ROMANOV

**Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                yall,,,, so cute

**Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_

                I agree. I’m glad you two enjoyed yourselves while I was gone.

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                It’s better when youre here ms potts!!!!!

**daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                holy fuck this is ADORABLE

**bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                theyre both so tiny omg

**flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                holy shit that lab is massive

 **May Parker** **✓** _@mayandbenparker_

                Send me that video!!!!!

**Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                I gotchu dw May

 

 

 

TO **QUENTIN BECK** > FROM **PETER PARKER**

 **Peter:** beck

 **Peter:** beck

 **Peter:** beck

 **Peter:** beck

 **Peter:** beck

 **Peter:** dudeeee

 **Peter:** where are you bro

 **Peter:** you missed dnd???

 **Peter:** u alive

 **Peter:** :(

 

TO **QUENTIN BECK** > FROM **WADE WILSON**

 **Wade:** hey

 **Wade:** hey ASSHOLE

 **Wade:** hm

 **Wade:** im gonna find you pal

 **Wade:** youre gonna be okay

 

 

 

**Thanos** **✓** _@thanos_

its rewind time

 

 

 


	13. the black cat and a stressed tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so ive actually got some sense of plot now that stemmed from the dickening of thanos  
> how fucking wild
> 
> i also realised how like,,,, /rapey/ that whole situation seemed and i wasn't even thinking of it like that,,, i literally have no excuse. i think the word /dicked/ literally just made it humourous? im sorry if that offended anyone. hooow abt we just go with everything was consensual but thanos is being a little bitch because they werent good lays. yeah? yeah, lets go with that

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Mr Stark wants me to hang out w people my age but like,,,,,, theres only 3 civilians that I can talk to abt spidey stuff. its not my fault all the superheroes these days like like,,, fossils

                **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_

                I resent that

                **Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

                ngl I think the main problem was that youre hanging out w Deadpool, you know, a literal mercenary

                **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_

                I didn’t go through a goddamn trial and get PARDONED just for people to say im not allowed to be around a kid

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                i m  n o t  a  k i d

 **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_

                give me access to the tower and maybe I can talk to stark hmhm??

                **Clint Burton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_

                not gonna happen pal

 

 

 

 **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

Spider-Man spotted chasing the notorious Black Cat through Midtown. [link]

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

I bought mr stark air pods

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                Apple is a rival company Peter

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                Exactly

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                since when did you have the money to buy air pods

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                mr stark gives me money as rewards for making stuff in the lab sometimes

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                so you used tony starks own money to buy him apple air pods

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                yeah

 **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                fucking brilliant

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

he tryin to be humble but he’s never been that

[Photo: Tony is in the lab reading the box the air pods came in, whilst wearing one in his ear.]

                **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

this kid lives to roast tony and I am all for it

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                peter parker is a godsend and must be protected

 

 

 

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Spider-Man FROLICING with the Criminal Black Cat! [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

The Black Cat Evades Spider-Man AGAIN! [link]

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

BRUHHHH

                **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                what is this

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                I was tryin to find out why the Black Cat was in NY again and I found her lair

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                it was pretty empty but SHE LEFT ME A SPIDEY STEALTH SUIT???????

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                So you decided to put it on

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                I had kare like scan it and check it for anything dangerous like a tracker n stuff but???? It’s just a suit made of leather and spandex!! THE THINGS GOT SHOULDER PADS ITS AWESOME

 **purrpurr** **✓** _@theblackcat_

                you’re adorable hon 😘

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Come to the Tower and let’s see if we can install Karen into it then

 **purrpurr** **✓** _@theblackcat_

                jealous, big guy? 😘

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                okay Mr Stark!! don’t think im gonna go any easier on u cat

 **purrpurr** **✓** _@theblackcat_

                wouldn’t dream of it, spider

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                woa

 

 

 

 **empty** _@yeet_

did that just happen

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                holy FUCK

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                spidey x blackcat

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                oh wo w wait till jameson hears about this

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                jesus she made him a suit????????????????? hot

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                damn

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@theblackcat wanna go annoy hammerhead

                **purrpurr** **✓** _@theblackcat_

                yes

 

 

 

TO **PETER PARKER** > FROM **TONY STARK**

 **Tony:** Pete

 **Tony:** PETER

 **Tony:** Do NOT engage with mafia bosses

 **Tony:** And stay away from MASTER THIEVES

 **Tony:** PETER

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Knowing Spider-Man has literally taken 15 years off my life

                **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

this is so sad, friday play despacito

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                lmao poor stark

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                imagine being spideys parents god id strangle him

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                jeebus

 

 

 

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

@iamspiderman why haven’t you turned the black cat in? she is a literal CRIMINAL ??

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                she hasn’t been in ny for a while, and she hasn’t used her abilities for anything illegal since she’s returned. im hoping she’s gonna give being good a chance. she has a good heart.

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                abilities? is she enhanced?

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                no shes just REALLY athletic. like,,, wow. I had asthma before I got my powers so you wouldn’t catch me outside swinging around back then,,,, but black cat??? icon. except not the whole stealing thing

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                spider man out here validating non enhanced

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                well yeah!!! anyone can be a superhero! Mr Stark isn’t enhanced and he’s so awesome!!

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                aww ofc spidey manages to bring stark into the convo #spiderson

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                But Spidey… harbouring a fugitive isn’t good. Couldn’t this get you in trouble with the accords?

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                Im not even harbouring a fugitive since I don’t even know where she is right now. I am lookin tho

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                and since I cosigned I’d have to answer to Mr Stark. but getting the Black Cat on our team is worth the punishment.

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                is she avenger material?

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                id say yes,,, she really reminds me of Black Widow so,, I just need her to do the right thing instead of working for herself

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                this is so wholesome and worrisome

 

 

 

_dnd hoes_

**spider-baby:** anyone know where Beck went???

 **shuREEE:** man’s got magic im sure he’s fine

 **superhero ned:** he’s never missed dnd before though

 **superhero ned:** its been weeks

 **Kare Bear:** Would you like me to ask Mr Stark to perform a search for Mr Beck, Peter?

 **spider-baby:** no no he doesn’t like beck or wade its pretty disheartening

 **Kare Bear:** I could search social media for any sightings if you like.

 **spider-baby:** mr stark wont know?

 **Kare Bear:** Unless he asks directly, I have no need to tell him.

 **spider-baby:** yes please karen

 **Kare Bear:** Please connect the Spider-Man mask to your laptop, Peter.

 **spider-baby:** oh okay sorry its at the bottom of my bag big oof

 **spider-baby:** okay go ahead kare

 **shuREEE:** is Wade still alive

 **superhero ned:** the man can’t die shuri

 **shuREEE:** you know what I mean >:(((

 **superhero ned:** you think wade and beck could be together??

 **spider-baby:** it’s possible. they hang out together while we’re at school

 **superhero ned:** theyre a magic man and a mutant. I think we can assume they okay and just real busy

 **shuREEE:** I hope so. It’s hard to play dnd using a hologram, let alone with 4 players

 **superhero ned:** we should add mj at some point

 **shuREEE:** a girl?

 **superhero ned:** yeah

 **shuREEE:** PLEASE ADD HER IM SICK OF ALL YOU WHITE BOYS COMLPAINING ALL THE TIME

 **superhero ned:** wow ruuude

 **spider-baby:** lets just try n find our missing team before we start replacing them

 **superhero ned:** yeah good call

 **Kare Bear:** I couldn’t find anything. I’m sorry, Peter.

 **spider-baby:** it’s okay kare

 **spider-baby:** im just gonna do a scan in the tower next time im there

 **shuREEE:** good luck with Stark

 **spider-baby:** thanks

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> peter calling KAREN kare is good for my soul
> 
> ALSO, last chap was the end of pt 1, this chap starts pt 2


	14. this house is a fucking nightmare

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

no one:

literally no one:

fox news: tHe aVeNgErS aRe A mEnAcE tO sOcIeTy

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

lmaoooooo

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                spidey memeing fuels me

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                uwu

                **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                no one:

                literally no one:

                spider-man: uwu

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                theres nothing wrong with a little uwu now and then

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                blocked

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                sir you’ve been cancelled

 

 

 

 **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

welp time to uninstall life

                **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                why

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                mr stank fuckin,,,, embarrassed me in front of an mit person today

                **Betty Brant** **✓** _@betyourlife_

                How so?

                **Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                MR STANK

                **Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                meme

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                mr S T A N K told him that I like to make hats for dum-e and shOWED THE GUY MY BLUEPRINTS FOR MY MINI R2-D2

                **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                PETER YOU CANT CALL HIM MR STANK

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                BITCH YOU WATCH ME

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                I also told him that you were incredibly hard working and extremely intelligent. You didn’t even need help on those blueprints, you just needed instructions on how to use some of the equipment in the lab. but go off I guess

                **Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                woaaaa what the fuccck

                **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                BUT GO OFF I GUESS oH MY LORDYLOO

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                wha

                **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                so much validation going around these days how epicu

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

Tony Stark lives life in god mode

                **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

why would you say something so controversial yet so brave

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                it’s the truth he just unlocked it when he threw that nuke through the wormhole

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                woa

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                his dad making cap’s shield let tony live with cheat codes, but once he yeeted himself through the sky’s asshole, he ascended into godhood

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                bold of you to assume he wasn’t already a god

 

 

 

 **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

peter parker and spidey love iron man so much its so cute

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                its so wholesome I love one (1) iron fam

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                is this peter kid gonna inherit SI

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                holy shit maybe

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                woahhh that’s a thought and a half

 

 

 

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

IronDad Alert! Tony Stark and his High School Intern were sighted at a local Ben & Jerry’s this evening. [link]

 

 

 

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

@IronMan Invite me next time? :)))

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Sorry Rhodes, this was exclusively me and Peter bonding time

                **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                cute

                **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Besides, no class C allowed

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                I’m class S you complete ass. 😂

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                It was a pity S, Rhodey! A pity S!

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                don’t worry Mr Rhodey youll always be class S to me

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

                Thanks Spidey

 

 

 

 **Scarlet Witch** **✓** _@fairlyoddwanda_

this house is a fucking nightmare

 **mj** **✓** _@hmjones_

                what did peter do

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                HEY

                **Scarlet Witch** **✓** _@fairlyoddwanda_

                Me and Vis, playing chess

                meanwhile, peter: PIZZA ROLLS ARE JUST SPAGHETTI FLAVOURED TIDE PODS

                shuri, crying on the phone: please stop

                Vis, no emotion whatsoever on his face: he’s right you know. he asked me to eat one for a project he was doing.

                **empty** _@yeet_

vision can eat tide pods

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                I knew he was superior to human but now,,,,,, a literal god

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                vis can lift Mjolnir so yea. literal god

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                holy shit??????

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                can vision drink bleach and live

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                time to find out

 

 

 

 **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

update: vision CAN drink bleach

2nd update: im grounded

 

 

 

_dnd hoes_

**spider-baby:** uh so according to friday beck and wade aren’t on earth??????????

 **superhero ned:** what

 **shuREEE:** you probably scanned it wrong

 **Kare Bear:** There were no mistakes in FRIDAY’s search, Princess.

 **superhero ned:** oh my god what if theyre dead

 **spider-baby:** shut up ned no

 **spider-baby:** oh god what do we do

 **superhero ned:** you gotta tell Mr Stark!!

 **spider-baby:** I cant do that he’ll just laugh at me

 **superhero ned:** but this is serious!

 **spider-baby:** he wont take it seriously ned

 **superhero ned:** shuri???

 **shuREEE:** im not sure what to do

 **spider-baby:** oh my god what if they ARE dead?!?!?!??

_superhero ned added hmjones_

**superhero ned:** mj, mysterio and deadpool have disappeared please help us

 **spider-baby:** how is mj gonna help when kare and friday couldn’t????? not that im mad that youre here mj we were planning on adding you soon for dnd stuff but we wanna find beck and wade first

 **hmjay:** you guys are such losers

 **hmjay:** and idiots

 **hmjay:** did you even check their twitter

 **hmjay:** I suggest you find the grape looking fucker that they visited before they disappeared

 **spider-baby:** what grape looking fucker????

 **hmjay:** @thanos

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know yall are missing thanos but dw he'll be back soon


	15. team bug

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

@blackwidow is my spider-mom

**Mother of the Spider** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                agreed

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                nat omg

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                What am I, chopped liver?

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you want to be my spider-mom, Mr Stark?

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Yes

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                sorry Mr Stark. you can be ironmom instead though

**Pepper Potts** **✓** _@PepperPotts_

                I thought I was your IronMom?

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                oh my god Ms Potts!!!!!!!!! yes you ARE ironmom

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                You’re breaking my heart here kid

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you’re irondad Mr Stark. just because Nat is spider-mom doesn’t mean she’s my favourite avenger

**Mother of the Spider** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                huh

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                you’re still my best friend though!!!!

**Mother of the Spider** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                good

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                Let’s go get dinner #ironfam

 

 

 

**New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

Alien’s Invade Detroit! [link]

**Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

Attack of the Critters! Ant-Man and the Wasp, the Black Widow, and Spider-Man Team-Up Against Alien Invasion in Detroit! [link]

**BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

The Avengers Arrive Late to Detroit Alien Invasion! [link]

 

               

 

**flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

why was spidey in fuckin Detroit????????????????????????????????????????????

                **Betty Brant** **✓** _@betyourlife_

god knows

**Abe Brown** **✓** _@thatisfalse_

                Why were Ant-Man and the Wasp in Detroit? Why was Black Widow in Detriot?????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

**Charles Murphy** **✓** _@charliewglasses_

                team bug

**Cindy Moon** **✓** _@cindymoonies_

                Oh my god

                **flash** **✓** _@fastasfcuk_

                my favourite crossover

 

 

 

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Can superheroes stop taking Spider-Man on impromptu holidays my heart can’t take it

                **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                im sorry Mr Stark!!!! but people were gonna get hurt!!

**Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

                You did good kid

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                oof feel that validation im gonna pass out

**tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                #irondad

**spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

                #spiderson

 

 

 

TO **PETER PARKER** > FROM **TONY STARK**

 **Tony:** Kid

 **Tony:** You gotta be more careful kid. Romanov isn’t as restricted when travelling because she isn’t enhanced

 **Peter:**???

 **Peter:** oh my god I forgot about the accords

 **Tony:** Pete

 **Tony:** I’m gonna have to ground you again for this

 **Peter:** but we saved Detroit Mr Stark…… :(

 **Tony:** I know. But you still violated one of the terms. If you don’t get punished for this SHIELD will have to take over. Considering there was no property damage though, I think I can get away with going easy on you

 **Peter:** ok Mr Stark :( am I allowed to sulk

 **Tony:** Yea. I’ll be sulking with you

 

 

 

**Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

captain america has had blue balls since he woke up because he wasn’t defrosted properly

**NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                peter you cant say things like that

                **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_

                im a bad bitch u cant kill me

                **Mother of the Spider** **✓** _@blackwidow_

they also forgot to defrost his brain cells

**NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                oh my GOD

                **Bucky Barnes** **✓** _@JBuckyBarnes_

                Can confirm both of these

**NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                OH MMY G OD

 

 

 

**Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

@iamspiderman bro!

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                bro!!!

**Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

                bro!!!!!!

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                BRO!!!!!!!

**Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

                B R O!!!!!!

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                WHAT TEAM

**Scott Lang** **✓** _@antman_

                T E A M B U G

**Mother of the Spider** **✓** _@blackwidow_

                bug

**The Wasp** **✓** _@hopevandyne_

                BUG!!!!!! <3

**spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_

                fam!!! 😇

 

 

 

**empty** _@yeet_

I don’t know how or why but I love it

**bzzzt** _@moth_

                I wanna join

**irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                the wasp is what happened to the lady in the bee movie who left her boytoy for Barry Bee Benson

**bzzzt** _@moth_

                I don’t wanna join

 

 

 

_dnd hoes_

**spider-baby:** hey so me n mr man n ms dyne went to check out thanus

 **superhero ned:** 1\. mr man??? 2. thanus??

 **spider-baby:** 1\. mr ant man 2. he dummy thicc

 **shuREEE:** wow

 **Kare Bear:** Thanos appears to be approximately 8 feet tall. He is either an enhanced individual, a mutant, or an alien.

 **hmjay:** what else did u find out

 **spider-baby:** um im not in the cabin,,,,, thing. ant man and ms dyne shrunk and snuck in

 **shuREEE:** how long they been in there

 **spider-baby:** th that’s why I messaged its been an hour n they aren’t answering on their comms but I can see thanus walking around so like I don’t know what to do

 **hmjay:** calm down

 **hmjay:** if he took them out then youre gonna need back up

 **spider-baby:** but like, what if im reading this wrong and he just wants to live in peace??? If beck and wade came here to prank him then he hasn’t done anything wrong and ant man and ms dyne are bothering him too

 **spider-baby:** oh my god did I get them killed

 **spider-baby:** what happened to beck!! wheres wade D:

 **hmjay:** HEY LOSER

 **hmjay:** CALM THE FUCK DOWN

 **hmjay:** Call Tony

 **spider-baby:** but

 **spider-baby:** he might be mad at me

 **hmjay:** he has no reason to. you investigated something that had you worried, for good reason, AND you took two class B heroes with you. youre allowed to make mistakes peter. please call him.

 **Kare Bear:** He is calling Mr Stark. Thank you, MJ.

 **hmjay:** np

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanus is my favourite theory


	16. alien refugees and a broken kare bear

**New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_

BREAKING NEWS: EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS LAND UPSTATE [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

ALIEN SHIP LANDS BY AVENGERS COMPOUND [link]

 **BBC NEWS** **✓** _@thebbc_

Friend or Foe? Alien Ship Lands in New York. [link]

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_

Lol it’s just Brucie and Thor. Oh, and like 600 Asgardians

                **SHIELD** **✓** _@SHIELD_

                What.

               

 

 

 **James Rhodes** **✓** _@warmachine_

The ship is Thor’s, everyone. Bruce Banner has also returned to us.

                **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

holyshitholyshitholyshit BRUCE IS BACK?!!?!?!!!

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                oh thank god I thought we were being invaded again

 **tóspringe** _@inalandofmyth_

                that was scary :((

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

                tHOR AND BRUCE WERE TOGETHER IN SPACE WH aT

 **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_

                holy shit

 

 

 

 **Bruce Banner** **✓** _@BruceBanner_

Hey.

 **NED™** **✓** _@nedtalk_

                ohmyg=vfmbgkr keewtNAY4M5UWNYRBGEFVDS X

 **Harley Keener** **✓** _@potatogun_

                only bottoms key smash

                **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

good to have u back mr banner!

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                hhhHHHHHHHH me big GAY

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                HE’S BACK BABY

 

 

 

 **Hero Watch** _@HeroWatch_

Black Widow, Captain America, Hawkeye, and Iron Man were seen embracing Thor and Dr Banner at the Avengers Compound this evening!!!! #TheGangsAllHere #TheOriginalSix

                **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

woaaaaaa no one better mess with earth any time soon HEH

 **empty** _@yeet_

                I cant believe they were together the whole time???? like, what??? HO W

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                yay

 

 

**Avengers News** **✓** _@AvengersCentral_

Thor and Banner have been welcomed home with open arms! Thor has revealed that Asgard has been destroyed and asks the human race if the Asgardians can make Earth their home.

                **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

um??? Yes?? Obviously!!!!!!

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                his whole planet was destroyed?? NANI

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

oh my god poor thor

 **can’t read uwu** _@jarednineteen_

                uhhhh what? how abt no

 **empty** _@yeet_

                holy shit thor yes we love u and ur friends

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

                WE SUPPORT THOR EVERY STEP OF THE WAY #WeAccept

 **irene adler** _@sherlocked_

                #WeAccept

 **doooweeOOOO** _@doctorwhom_

                as long as there isn’t another loki then they can do whatever they want #WeAccept

 

 

 

 **Thor** **✓** _@THOR_

Thank You Midgardians! Myself and my friends are very relieved that you have accepted us on your planet!

                **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_

ohmyg who made thor twitter??

 **tony <3 ** _@iamironman_

                I bet my entire ass it was spider-man

 **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

                hhhHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

                lmao^ he broken

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

                I stan thor on twitter

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

                all he’s gonna see is people wanting to fuck his God Dick and a bunch of mortals calling him daddy

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                I am one of those people

 **boom boom my legs** _@ironwarmachine_

                my name seems more appropriate now as I too want the God Dick

 **sergeant james barnes @** _thewintersoldier_

                dear god

 

 

 

 **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@DailyBugle_

The Slaughter of New York, God of Mischief, Loki of Asgard has been sighted at the Avengers compound. What does this mean for us? [link]

 **BuzzFeed** **✓** _@BuzzFeed_

LOKI RETURNS! [link]

 

 

 

 **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

hmph. ive been here for a while. Asgard had good wifi

                **empty** _@yeet_

excuse me what th fuck

 **bzzzt** _@moth_

MAN’S BEEN ACTIVE ON TWITTER FOR M O N T H S

 **daen | sammeh** _@spnfan3000_

hey loki uwu uwu

**bart I don’t wanna alarm you**

                what the shit

 

 

 

 **Tony Stark** **✓** _@IronMan_ , **Bruce Banner** **✓** _@BruceBanner_ , **SHIELD** **✓** _@SHIELD_ , and 6 others retweeted:

 **Thor** **✓** _@THOR_

Please, do not blame my brother. The Battle of New York was not his doing, not completely. He had been mind controlled by a mad Titan to acquire a classified item. It is okay to be angry at him, me, or the other Avengers, but please do not blame Loki of that day. It was against his own will.

                **daddy thor** _@godofthunder_

I cant mothefickiin stay angry when thor asks so kindly

 **hawk eyyy** _@cawcaw_

can he rule earth. fuck the queen. fuck ellis. #ThorForPresidentOfTheWorld

 **natnatnat** _@blackassassin_

mind controlled????? Are we supposed to believe that is this a joke

 **hulk** _@scienceybrucie_

ok but if this is true,,, who the hell is strong enough to mind control LOKI OF ASGARD

 **so, you got detention** _@capnmrcia_

                mad titan???????

 

 

 

 **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

lol thx for all the followers

                **Princess** **Shuri** **✓** _@shuri_

                I stan a bitch

 

 

 

 **Celebrity Central** **✓** _@CCentral_

King T’Challa of Wakanda has offered peace and sanctuary for the Asgardians! [link]

 

 

 

 **King T’Challa** **✓** _@TheBlackPanther_

The Avengers are good and full of heart. If Thor is one of them, I see no reason to not trust him. #WeAccept

 **Thor** **✓** _@THOR_

                Thank you.

                **Loki** **✓** _@originalsnake_

                what he said. 👊

 

 

 

_dnd hoes_

**spider-baby:** sorry this took so long the stuff with thor n dr banner distracted everyone but I spoke with mr stark and

 **spider-baby:** he is Scaring me

 **superhero ned:** uh why??

 **spider-baby:** so I explained the whole thanos thing to him and he literally had no idea what I was talking about

 **shuREEE:** what did you say?

 **spider-baby:** I told him abt beck and wade takin the piss out of thanos n disappearing, then I explained how me, ant man, and ms dyne camped by his cabin to investigate, then told him that they had disappeared too :(

 **hmjay:** uh pete who are beck, wade, ant man, and ms dyne?

 **spider-baby:** WHAT

 **spider-baby:** MJ NOT YOU TOO

 **spider-baby:** ned? shuri?? YOU GUYS HAVE MET THEM

 **potato gun:** ur not making any sense bro

 **spider-baby:**???????? who tf are you

 **potato gun:** Peter?? it’s Harley? the guy who shot ur dad with a potato gun?

 **spider-baby:** YOURE HARLEY

 **spider-baby:** w

 **spider-baby:** when did you join this chat?

 **spider-baby:** What do you mean my dad

 **potato gun:** couple months ago? you literally added me. Peter whats going on

 **spider-baby:** I don’t know but im freaking out right now

 **spider-baby:** Kare?

 **Kare Bear:** Hello, Peter.

 **spider-baby:** do u know who Quentin Beck is?

 **Kare Bear:** I have no record of that name.

 **spider-baby:** Wade Wilson

 **Kare Bear:** I have no record of that name.

 **spider-baby:** Scott Lang

 **Kare Bear:** I have no record of that name.

 **spider-baby:** Hope van Dyne

 **Kare Bear:** I have no record of that name.

 **spider-baby:** what the actual fuck.

 **shuREEE:** did karen break

 **hmjay:** u ok???

 **hmjay:** pete?

 **hmjay:** im gonna call may

 **superhero ned:** good idea

 **shuREEE:** agreed

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watched cap marvel today but i sTILL HAVENT SEEN RAGNAROK
> 
> ps. no update for a few days cause im writing a FAT chapter


	17. avengers groupchat [pt1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be NO far from home spoilers in this fic  
> but feel free to scream at me on tumblr @zyruuu abt it because im screaming too

**_CHAPTER 1: the accords_ **

_Natasha Romanov created the group Team Avengers._

_Natasha Romanov added Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, James Rhodes, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, VISION, Wanda Maximoff, Scott Lang and Stephen Strange to the chat._

**Tony:** Why

 **Natasha:** because

 **Tony:**??

 **VISION:** I think this is a good idea.

 **Tony:** Why

 **VISION:** I believe that this is a good way to communicate if we are separated.

 **Tony:** Ever heard of a phone call Vis?

 **Natasha:** you don’t answer your phone

 **Tony:** Not the point

 **Tony:** Whatever

_Natasha Romanov added Pepper Potts and FRIDAY to the chat._

**Tony:** Thanks for that

 **Pepper:** You have time for a group chat but no time for the 4 meetings today?

 **Tony:** Bit stressed right now honey

 **Pepper:** Sorry. Can you at least make a statement? Facebook, Twitter, shout it from the top of the Tower, I don’t care. It needs to be done. Nick is addressing this too.

 **Tony:** Nick?

 **Pepper:** Fury. Get to it, Tony.

 **Tony:** Fine

 **Clint:** whipped

 **Sam:** Why is the chat called team Avengers?

 **Natasha:** its trending on twitter. a lot of people are choosing sides but someone got #teamavengers trending because we’re fixing things.

 **Steve:** That’s kind of them

 **Tony:** You should know not to spend so much time listening to social media Nat

 **Natasha:** uh no I will considering the accords were made to protect them. this is about the public just as much as it is about us

 **James:** Don’t fight again. I’ve already lost my damn legs.

_Tony Stark changed the nickname for James Rhodes to Rhodey._

**Tony:** Sorry Rhodes

 **Rhodey:** Just try and get along will ya?

 **Steve:** Yeah okay

 **Tony:** Key word ‘try’

 **Natasha:** who wants pizza?

 

 

 

**_CHAPTER 2: spider-man's on a roll_ **

_Team Avengers_

**Rhodey:** [ **Daily Bugle** **✓** _@_ DailyBugle | Spider-Man’s new suit! Tony Stark endorses New York menace! Read more at [link].]

 **Rhodey:** [ **New York PD** **✓** _@NYPD_ | Many thanks to Spider-Man for his help during the shootout at Times Square this morning. He saved a lot of officers’ lives today..]

 **Rhodey:** [ **New York Bulletin** **✓** _@NYBulletin_ | BREAKING NEWS: Wilson Fisk has been apprehended at Fisk Tower by Spider-Man taken into custody by the New York PD. Captain Yuri Watanabe said that they ‘couldn’t have done it without Spider-Man’. [link].]

 **Rhodey:** Who is this kid jesus

 **Natasha:** all in one day wow

 **Steve:** Is that the web guy from Germany?

 **Natasha:** yeah

 **Clint:** any idea who he is

 **Natasha:** stark knows who he is

 **Tony:** Kids big on privacy so don’t go hunting him Nat

 **Natasha:** spider man crashed ur plane I want to know

 **Steve:** He what????

 **Tony:** He stopped the Vulture and stopped my plane from crashing into the city by aiming it at Coney Island with no casualties

 **Tony:** Leave him alone

 **Natasha:** fine

 **Clint:** invite him for a movie night

 **Tony:** No

 **Rhodey:** Just leave it guys.

 **Clint:** uh u sure you don’t want nat to check him out

 **Tony:** Pretty sure

 **Natasha:** spider man knows deadpool?

 **Tony:** What

 **Clint:** check the news

 **Steve:** We got a conference to go to.

 **Steve:** Meet Webs after

 **Tony:** Shit okay

 

 

 

**_CHAPTER 3: mr stark is a dumbass and t'challa is a furry_ **

_Team Avengers_

**Natasha:** who is peter parker tony

 **Tony:** Where’d you hear that name

 **Natasha:** the kid is talking about you and dum-e on twitter

 **Tony:** That little shit

 **Natasha:** who is he

 **Tony:** He’s my intern

 **Natasha:** he’s 15

 **Tony:** He’s also incredibly smart and a child

 **Tony:** So don’t go hunting him either

 **Tony:** I’ve already done a background check he’s just a normal kid okay?

 **Natasha:** I trust you

 **Tony:** Thank you

 **Clint:** is he yours

 **Tony:** Clint

 **Clint:** yeah

 **Tony:** Shut the fuck up

-

_Team Avengers_

**Rhodey:** [ **not the green lanturn** **✓** _@deadpool_ | my boy spider-man won’t tell me how to get in the tower :(((((]

 **Rhodey:** At least he’s trustworthy.

 **Sam:** More like common sense. No one in their right mind would give Deadpool anything.

 **Rhodey:** True.

 **Rhodey:** Oh my god.

 **Sam:** What’s wrong?

 **Rhodey:** [ **Clint Barton** **✓** _@Hawkeye_ | [Video: The camera is at an unnaturally high angle, and heavy breathing can be heard, most likely Clint’s. Tony Stark is in the avenger’s kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a shirt with a bad science pun. Sizzling can be heard distantly. Tony turns; he is making a pancake. He goes to flip the pancake. The pan breaks as he lifts it up, the base soars through the air, and the handle stays in Tony’s hand. He looks at the mess on the floor and drops the handle with a loud sigh. Clint is trying to hold in his laughter. Tony walks out of the kitchen, leaving the room a mess. A creak can be heard next to Clint and the camera turns; Black Widow is next to him in the vent with a creepy smile on her face. “hey Clint” can be heard just before Clint screams and the video ends.]]

 **Sam:** Holy shit

 **Natasha:** hahahahhahahahah

 **Clint:** ha ha

 **Tony:** Jesus Christ

 **Steve:** Why were you in the vents…?

 **Natasha:** don’t question it

 **Steve:** I have so many question

 **FRIDAY:** Alert: a large creature made of what appears to be rocks is attacking Central Park. Spider-Man is already on the scene and is struggling to take it down. War Machine is already on his way.

 **Tony:** On it

 **Tony:** Steve, Nat, Clint get to the jet

 **Steve:** Of course, Tony.

 

 

 

**_CHAPTER 4: who is peter parker_ **

_Team Avengers_

_Rhodey added Happy Hogan to the chat._

**Rhodey:** The kid okay?

 **Happy:** I think so? He’s normally a chatterbox but he’s been really quiet.

 **Tony:** Bring him to the tower

 **Happy:** What about May?

 **Tony:** Pick her up too

 **Happy:** Got it boss.

-

TO **TONY STARK** > FROM **KING T’CHALLA**

 **T’Challa:** Who is he?

 **Tony:** My intern. I trust him with my life, even if he does seem like a bit of an idiot.

 **Tony:** He and Shuri probably met when you visited last.

 **T’Challa:** I want to meet him next time.

 **Tony:** They’re just friends

 **T’Challa:** I believe Shuri when she said that. I want to meet the boy who you chose to mentor.

 **Tony:** I’ll make sure it happens

**-**

_Team Avengers_

**Clint:** wow chief aint backing down is he

 **Sam:** Who the fuck sues Buzzfeed hahaha

 **Natasha:** they did release peter’s address to the public

 **Steve:** I think Tony wants them to move into the Tower

 **Natasha:** yeah

 **Natasha:** safer that way

 **Natasha:** kid’s been followed home a few times now

 **Clint:** shit dude

-

TO **TONY STARK** > FROM **PEPPER POTTS**

 **Pepper:** Get him to make Spider-Man a Twitter. It should divert the attention.

 **Tony:** You sure?

 **Pepper:** It’d be better than this.

 

 

 

**_CHAPTER 5: spidey gets twitter_ **

_Team Avengers_

**Tony:** I’m gonna add Spidey

 **Steve:** He’s not an Avenger?

 **Tony:** Why do you hate fun

 **Natasha:** neither is Happy or Pepper

 **Steve:** No, No, I’m just concerned. He’s very eager to join in on missions.

 **Tony:** He’s gotta learn somehow                                                                 

_Tony added Spider-Man to the chat._

**Spider-Man:** holy shit mr stark

 **Spider-Man:** HOLY SHIT MR STARK

 **Spider-Man:** HI IM PETER

 **Tony:** Fuck sake

 **Steve:** Spider-Man… is Peter Parker…………………

 **Natasha:** tony owes me 50 bucks

 **Clint:** what the fuck

 **Rhodey:** Oh my god kid

 **Sam:** Tiny Peter Parker fucking drop kicked me what

 **Bucky:** What

 **VISION:** He’s not exactly subtle.

 **Scott:** bug bro is 15 years old,,,,,,,, bug baby.

 **Spider-Man:** was I supposed to keep it a secret

 **Tony:** Kinda the whole point of a SECRET IDENTITY Pete

 **Spider-Man:** yeah but….,,, it’s the avengers, man

_Spider-Man changed the nickname for Spider-Man to yeeter barker._

**Tony:** Kid why

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Tony Stark to tin can._

**tin can:** KID

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Natasha Romanov to mama spider._

**mama spider:** :D

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Steve Rogers to blue balls._

**blue balls:** Hey now

 **Bucky:** It’s true tho

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Rhodey to uncle rhodey._

**uncle rhodey:** Are you allergic to capital letters?

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Clint Barton to katniss._

**katniss:** oof fair enough

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Bucky Barnes to cap stan._

**cap stan:** HEY NOW

 **blue balls:** It’s true though >:)

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Sam Wilson to bird boy._

**bird boy:** Bird BOY???

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for VISION to windows xp._

**windows xp:** I find this… very amusing.

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Wanda Maximoff to scarlet sister._

**scarlet sister:** bitch!!!!!!!!!!! <33

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Scott Lang to bug bro._

**bug bro:** aww

 **yeeter barker:** there we go

 **yeeter barker:** a language I can understand

 **tin can:** I have so many regrets

 **mama spider:** leave the spider baby alone

 **yeeter barker:** YEAH MR STARK U BULLY

 **tin can:** Kid

 **tin can:** Nice selfie outside the Tower

 **tin can:** Come to the lab

 **yeeter barker:** yessir

 **katniss:** what a dad

-

 **tin can:** The kid’s exposing me on Twitter

 **yeeter barker:** the world’s gotta know how soft you are

 **tin can:** No

 **mama spider:** #irondad

 **tin can:** What

 **yeeter barker:** woa

 **bird boy:** It’s true…. #IronDad

**-**

**blue balls:** Peter, you work with FEAST?

 **yeeter barker:** uh yeah sometimes why

 **cap stan:** Steve and I go there sometimes

 **yeeter barker:** wha really

 **blue balls:** Tell us next time you go, and we can come too, yeah?

 **yeeter barker:** YEAH THATD BE EPIC

 **Pepper:** Spider-Man is great for PR not gonna lie.

 **yeeter barker:** Ms Potts!!!!!!!!!!

 **Pepper:** Hello, Peter. <3

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Pepper Potts to Iron Mom._

**Iron Mom:** Aw Peter!!

 **tin can:** Wow

 

**_CHAPTER 6: mr stark is a mess_ **

_Team Avengers_

**uncle rhodey:** [ **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ | Tony Stark is a Mess™]

 **uncle rhodey:** Hahahahhaa!!

 **mama spider:** spider boy’s just telling the truth!!

 **tin can:** He forgets... I made… His suit…………..

 **yeeter barker:** sir………………………….

 **yeeter barker:** take away the suit,,,, I will just Expose you more

 **katniss:** careful stark hahahahha

 **bird boy:** Kid has ALL the power lmao

 **yeeter barker:** Bitch I could take over the world if I wanted too

 **tin can:** It’s scary how true that is

-

 **cap stan:** Pete’s handle……. Oh my god

 **tin can:** ????

 **tin can:** Oh

 **tin can:** OH

 **tin can:** Pete that’s adorable

 **mama spider:** awwww spider baby following iron dad’s footsteps

 **yeeter barker:** I feel,,,,, attacked

 **scarlet sister:** oh my g od peter that’s fucking cute af

 **windows xp:** It’s very endearing, Peter.

 **yeeter barker:** stop this,,,, fuckin,,, go blue screen or somethin

 **blue balls:** Language, Peter.

 **tin can:** Yeah watch your language Peter!

 **bird boy:** O O P S  I  D I D  I T  A G A I N

 **cap stan:** Wow Steve is such a hypocrite

 **yeeter barker:** how

 **cap stan:** We’re from WW2. He swears like a sailor

 **yeeter barker:** wowwwwwwwww mr rogers

 **yeeter barker:** so, you g

 **tin can:** Pete

 **tin can:** Pete

 **scarlet sister:** lmao he dead

 **tin can:** What????

-

 **bug bro:** peter roasting oscorp on twitter is hilarious

 **tin can:** ???

 **tin can:** Oh worm

 **uncle rhodey:** What.

 **tin can:** What

 **yeeter barker:** hahahhahahah yes mr stark!!!!!!!

 **katniss:** the baby is corrupting iron dad

 **scarlet sister:** oh my god

 **windows xp:** rawr xD

 **scarlet sister:** OH MT GOD

 **yeeter barker:** VIS LMAOOO

 **uncle rhodey:** I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like it.

-

 **tin can:** Pete stop calling me out on social media

 **yeeter barker:** they need to know

 **tin can:** Do they though

 **yeeter barker:** yes

 **tin can:** -.-

**_CHAPTER 7: technology has finally overtaken us_ **

_Team Avengers_

**tin can:** Peter what the FUCK did you do to FRIDAY

 **yeeter barker:** whaa

 **FRIDAY:** Boss?

 **tin can:** [ **FRIDAY** **✓** _@SI_FRIDAY_ | Boss has indeed acquired more grey hairs since he began mentoring Spider-Man.]

 **tin can:** Who is Karen

 **FRIDAY:** Karen is what Peter has named the AI you installed in the Spider-Man suit.

 **tin can:** I’m so confused

 **yeeter barker:** ur tech is taking over mr stark

 **yeeter barker:** im surprised its only happening now

 **yeeter barker:** I mean Ultron took one look at the internet and decided to dip

 **uncle rhodey:** That’s… one way to put it.

 **scarlet sister:** god my stomach hurts from laughing so much

 **windows xp:** Wow.

 **scarlet sister:** pete just summed up ultrons revolution in one sentence

 **tin can:** FRIDAY who made you a Twitter.

 **FRIDAY:** You are not authorised to know that information, boss.

 **tin can:** Override code 3: Daddy knows best.

 **FRIDAY:** It was Wanda and Vision.

 **scarlet sister:** fri :o

 **tin can:** Ugh… Kids

 **tin can:** You are ALL grounded

 **windows xp:** Apologies.

 **tin can:** Nuh uh. All of you. Even Pete

 **yeeter barker:** WHAA

-

_FRIDAY added Karen to the chat._

**Karen:** :)

 **FRIDAY:** :)

 

 

**_CHAPTER 8: how old is spider-man_ **

_Team Avengers_

**tin can:** Who is Mysterio

 **yeeter barker:** he’s my friend

 **tin can:** How did u meet him

 **yeeter barker:** uhhhhh

 **mama spider:** don’t lie

 **yeeter barker:** uh remember when those elementals attacked a few weeks ago

 **yeeter barker:** not the rock one but the water fire and sand ones

 **tin can:** Yeah you defeated them before we got there

 **yeeter barker:** yeah I wasn’t alone

 **yeeter barker:** beck helped me out n saved my life a few times

 **tin can:** Kid why didn’t you say?

 **yeeter barker:** he didn’t wanna be targeted by the gov or wanna sign the accords

 **yeeter barker:** im only tellin u now cause I trust you guys a lot

 **yeeter barker:** he’s just a guy who wants to live in peace like he only stepped in cause I got pinned down

 **yeeter barker:** like he wont do it anymore cause the elementals are all gone

 **yeeter barker:** please don’t go after him

 **tin can:** It’s okay bud

 **tin can:** But why were you in a bar with him

 **yeeter barker:** what

 **yeeter barker:** ththats what ur worried abt

 **tin can:** Yup

 **yeeter barker:** thanks uwu

 **yeeter barker:** beck gave me the Talk

 **blue balls:** He what.

 **yeeter barker:** nonoNO he gave me the superhero talk like how I was just a kid kickin ass

 **yeeter barker:** he was all like ‘you should be living ur life while you can’ and I was like riiiiight thanks fer that bro

 **blue balls:** I like him.

 **tin can:** I don’t

 **tin can:** Why does he think he can give you that talk

 **mama spider:** stark is jelly

 **tin can:** No

 **tin can:** I’m worried

 **katniss:** iron dad strikes again

 **yeeter barker:** pls mr starks it’s okay

 **tin can:** Be careful

 **yeeter barker:** yesyes of course sir

-

 **yeeter barker:** uhhhhhhh MR AMERICA WHAT THE FUCK

 **blue balls:** I’m sorry!

 **tin can:** Oh for fucks sake

 **tin can:** Nice one Cap

 **cap stan:** Dw I’ll slap him about

 **yeeter barker:** um

 **cap stan:** That sounded less dirty in my head

 **blue balls:** God

 **yeeter barker:** what do I do???????

 **tin can:** Uh Pep will msg you on what to say in a bit

 **yeeter barker:** okay :/

 **tin can:** Don’t worry kid

 **tin can:** Pepper can solve anything

-

 **scarlet sister:** [ **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ | ok what the fuck?]

 **scarlet sister:** oh my god pete SNAPPED

 **tin can:** Oh boy

 **tin can:** Pepper is gonna be impressed

 **bug bro:** JJJ replied too oh wow

 **katniss:** holy shit he went off lmao

 **mama spider:** im so proud

 **yeeter barker:** god people make me so mad

 **Iron Mom:** That was brilliant, Peter!

 **yeeter barker:** thank GOD I thought it was a bit much

 **tin can:** Thanks for the support kid

 **yeeter barker:** I hate it when people insult you mr stark

 **yeeter barker:** everyone acts like they know you :(

 **yeeter barker:** but they don’t cause youre so amazing and nice like id probably be dead if not for you

 **uncle rhodey:** Kid you’re gonna make him cry.

 **tin can:** Fucking hell Pete

 **tin can:** Love you too

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a pt2 kids dw
> 
> i watched ragnarok and vemon last week  
> im also 18 now  
> wild
> 
> (sorry for lack of updates im workin on a peter&tony 5+1 fic so look out for that)


	18. avengers groupchat [pt2]

**_CHAPTER 9: d &d & q&a_ **

_Team Avengers_

**scarlet sister:** [ **illusion 100** **✓** _@mysterio_ | me, in the lead: I’ve got you now Spider-Man! Prepare to meet your end!]

 **scarlet sister:** can vis and i join in sometime

 **yeeter barker:** of course bb anything for u

 **scarlet sister:** :D <3

 **uncle rhodey:** You play d&d with literally the weirdest assortment of people.

 **yeeter barker:** gotta keep it interestin Mr Rhodes

 **tin can:** Why you gotta make jokes like that Pete

 **yeeter barker:** i use humor to avoid facing my c r i p p l i n g  d e p r e s s i o n

 **tin can:** God same

 **bird boy:** This isn’t a good thing

**-**

**uncle rhodey:** [ **spiderman stan** _@spiderfan_ | we could ask loki he has twitter]

 **uncle rhodey:** What

 **mama spider:** what

 **katniss:** the. fuck.

 **tin can:** Bitch where

 **yeeter barker:** eh don’t believe anything u read on twitter yall

 **yeeter barker:** uh ill ask the hn but I doubt loki is actuall like,,,, around

 **tin can:** Pete what are you talking about

 **mama spider:** youll ask the what

 **yeeter barker:** oh you don’t know???

 **yeeter barker:** the homeless network

 **yeeter barker:** like I can ask for the location of literall ANYONE at feast and I can get an answer in like, half an hour

 **tin can:** Kid what

 **yeeter barker:** why r u so shocked

 **yeeter barker:** homeless ppl are like,, the biggest supporters of supers or ur biggest enemies. But its real easy to know which is which

 **mama spider:**  theyre either homeless because of supers or have been protected the most by the small time vigilantes

 **yeeter barker:** exactly

 **yeeter barker:** me, deadpool, daredevil, those x guys, hell even ant man,,, we’re not avengers so we instantly got more street cred bruh

 **bug bro:** bruhhhhhh!!

 **yeeter barker:** bruhhhh uwuwuwu

 **tin can:** I never thought about that…

 **tin can:** Get back to me on that, I’ll get FRIDAY to do a search on anything extra-terrestrial

 **yeeter barker:** yessir

-

 **blue balls:** [ **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ | I am Spider-Man. Spider-Man and I are one]

 **blue balls:** Lmao

 **uncle rhodey:** Pfffffffffft. Legend.

 **yeeter barker:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-

 **mama spider:** PETER HAS A CRUSH

 **yeeter barker:** NEXTQUESTION

 **katniss:** is it the girl u follow home on patrols

 **yeeter barker:** theFUCK MR BARTON

-

 **bug bro:** do u really scare tony stark by attaching urself to the ceiling

 **yeeter barker:** yes

 **bug bro:** im gonna buy u ben and jerrys

 **yeeter barker:** h*ck yeah

 **bug bro:** whyd u censor heck

 **yeeter barker:** cause it’s a bad fucking word

 **cap stan:** If u listen carefully, you can hear Steve having a stroke

 **yeeter barker:** MR BARNES AGSTHYJ

-

 **uncle rhodey:** Tony’s dead guys. 😂😂

 **blue balls:** Why?

 **uncle rhodey:** Pete called him dad hahahhaha

 **katniss:** lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-

 **blue balls:** How did Peter get his powers?

 **tin can:** His mom fucked a spider

 **uncle rhodey:** TONY

 **yeeter barker:** i actually got 8 eyes but I keep 6 of them closed

 **yeeter barker:** also got fangs

 **yeeter barker:** and no spine

 **yeeter barker:** I am very spider

 **yeeter barker:** thanks mom

 **blue balls:** Wha

 **blue balls:** ?????????

 **blue balls:** Are you serious????????

 

 

**_CHAPTER 10: mj and pranks_ **

_Team Avengers_

**tin can:** PETER PARKER ANSWER YOUR PHONE

 **yeeter barker:** no

 **yeeter barker:** if im gonna die I want witnesses

 **mama spider:** why you gonna die

 **katniss:** it was HER wasn’t it peteypie

 **yeeter barker:** I know where you sleep hawkass

 **tin can:** Whom the FUCK knows you’re Spider-Man

 **tin can:** Give me a list

 **tin can:** Now

 **yeeter barker:** the avengers, shield, aunt may, ned, shuri, t’challa, harry, deadpool and mysterio

 **yeeter barker:** mj messaged me asking if I was spidey

 **yeeter barker:** she figured it out but I TRUST HER MR STARK

 **tin can:** MJ

 **tin can:** As in Michelle Jones from decathlon

 **yeeter barker:** YEAH

 **tin can:** Okay cool

 **yeeter barker:** thank fuc

-

 **bug bro:** im so glad im not at the compound right now

 **cap stan:** It’s hell on earth over here

 **cap stan:** They just won’t stop

 **bug bro:** better a prank war than a civil war tho

 **cap stan:** Tru tru

-

 **yeeter barker:** WHAT DO YALL WANT FROM MACCYDEEEEEES

 **tin can:** Don’t answer him

 **tin can:** You dumbasses ain’t getting SHIT from me this is me and Peter time

 **yeeter barker:** gay

 **scarlet sister:** I want happy meal

 **yeeter barker:** u get happy meal

 **scarlet sister:** thank for happy meal

 **yeeter barker:** enjoy u happy meal

 **katniss:** I WANT HAPPY MEAL

 **tin can:** No

 

 

**_CHAPTER 11: the new accords_ **

_Team Avengers_

**mama spider:** baby spider had to co sign with his dad how c u t e

 **yeeter barker:** stop this

 **tin can:** He’s not???? My son???

 **katniss:** bitch u wish he was

 **cap stan:** Mood

-

 **yeeter barker:** this class system is BULLSHIT

 **yeeter barker:** why is captain brain freeze a higher class than me I KICKED HIS ASS

 **blue balls:** That’s not exactly true.

 **tin can:** It’s not a competition Pete

 **yeeter barker:** iknow

 **yeeter barker:** mstill stronger than the guy who crashed a plane into the ocean instead of parachuting out

 **uncle rhodey:** Oof

 **blue balls:** …

 **tin can:** Yeah that’s fair

-

 **scarlet sister:** petey whyd u agree that tony being rank S is hot

 **yeeter barker:** CAUSE IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES

**_CHAPTER 12: free hugs and acdc [END OF PART 1]_ **

_Team Avengers_

**scarlet sister:** FREE HUGS

 **yeeter barker:** YEET

 **windows xp:** Uh. Anyone know why Peter just tackled Wanda?

 **katniss:** [ **spider-baby** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ | psa: if you see me and shout ‘free hugs’, there is a 99% chance that I will stop what im doing and hug u]

 **windows xp:** Ah.

 **windows xp:** Haha.

 **scarlet sister:** vis shouted it too awwwwwwwwwww

 **katniss:** yall are too cute

 **mama spider:** just heard tony shout it too hahahahhahahahah

-

 **tin can:** So

 **tin can:** You got detention

 **uncle rhodey:** I can’t stop laughing 😂😂😂😂

 **yeeter barker:** hi im captain america and im here to talk to you about one of the toughest enemies ive ever faced. tooth decay.

 **bird boy:** Cap oh my God

 **mama spider:** remember, if youre on fire, stop, drop and roll. say it with me now

 **katniss:** *spins* so your body’s changing. believe me, I know how that feels

 **cap stan:** This is what happens when he’s left on his own

 **scarlet sister:** any one of you could be secretly compromised. that’s right. im talking about……….. headlice

 **yeeter barker:** if you feel an itch,,,, don’t be afraid. stand up, and be counted a hero

 **bird boy:** GOD BLESS AMERICA

 **blue balls:** I hate my job

-

 **mama spider:** [ **Natasha Romanov** **✓** _@blackwidow_ | [Video: Nat is walking downstairs to Tony’s lab and loud music can be heard throughout the floor. She walks towards the glass wall and films what is happening inside. Peter and Tony are jamming out to AC/DC. Tony is using a screwdriver as a microphone and Peter is standing on the table with a hammer doing the same. DUM-E is jigging out too.]]

 **scarlet sister:** :o

 **scarlet sister:** that shit cute

 **uncle rhodey:** Okay but.

 **uncle rhodey:** [ **bart I don’t wanna alarm you** _@crystalooms_ | theyre both so tiny omg]

 **scarlet sister:** TRUEEE

 **yeeter barker:** heyheyHEY don’t bully me

 **scarlet sister:** smol

 **bug bro:** is that back in black

 **yeeter barker:** yeah I love led zeppelin

 **Happy:** Oh no

 **tin can:** You WHAT

 **yeeter barker:** AHHHH

 **windows xp:** It appears Mr. Stark has left the lab to find Peter.

 **yeeter barker:** HES ALREADY FOUND ME

 

 

**_CHAPTER 13: the black cat and a stressed tony_ **

_Team Avengers_

**tin can:** Jesus kid please hang out with people your age

 **tin can:** Like MJ and Ned

 **tin can:** I like MJ and Ned

 **yeeter barker:** but sir,,,,,, Deadpool has katanas

 **tin can:** N o

 **tin can:** Please stop

 **yeeter barker:** but

 **tin can:** No

 **yeeter barker:** im a bad bitch u cant kill me

 **tin can:** What

-

 **yeeter barker:** everyone rt this

 **yeeter barker:** [ **Peter Parker** **✓** **_@_** _peterparkour_ | he tryin to be humble but he’s never been that [Photo: Tony is in the lab reading the box the air pods came in, whilst wearing one in his ear.]]

 **mama spider:** tru tru tru

 **katniss:** bitch ive basically been wearing airpods since the 80’s

 **yeeter barker:** pFFFFFFFFT

-

 **bird boy:** Yo Peter whats this shit abt you ‘frolicking’ with the Black Cat????

 **yeeter barker:** BIT BUSY MR WILSON SORRY

 **bird boy:** Kid???

-

 **tin can:** Black Cat’s suit actually looks great  

 **bird boy:** The Black Cat is a criminal

 **tin can:** Pete has his reasons

 **tin can:** And he’s encountered her a few times in the past

 **tin can:** I trust him to handle her

 **yeeter barker:** mr stark that’s so nice thank you

 **bird boy:** Kid….

 **yeeter barker:** I think she likes me but uh I know she’s like 18 so it’s kinda awkward cause I don’t want her to know who I am

 **scarlet sister:** just say ur taken

 **bird boy:** You know who she is??

 **yeeter barker:** snitches get stitches mr falcon sir

 **yeeter barker:** ill handle it don’t worry children

 **blue balls:** You’re the youngest here??

-

 **tin can:** Hey Pete if Black Cat cleans up her act, I’ll look into her

 **tin can:** To like help out with SHIELD and potentially be on our team

 **yeeter barker:** woaaaah for real????

 **tin can:** Yeah

 **yeeter barker:** holy shit. okay, this is EPIC

 **yeeter barker:** she’s not the type of person to put her life on the line for civs but,,,

 **tin can:** She’d be good for stealth missions and such?

 **yeeter barker:** ye ye

 **tin can:** I’ll talk to Nick about it

 **yeeter barker:** :))))) <3

 

 

 

**_CHAPTER 14: this house is a fucking nightmare_ **

_Team Avengers_

**yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** mr stank

 **yeeter barker:** MR STANK

 **tin can:** WHAT

 **yeeter barker:** hi

 **yeeter barker:** hahha u answered to mr stank

 **tin can:** Kid I will cut you

 **yeeter barker:** :o

 **yeeter barker:** bully

 **uncle rhodey:** Hey Tony Stank.

 **tin can:** No

 **blue balls:** Hahahahhaha

 **bug bro:** tony STANK lmaoooooo

 **tin can:** Dear God

-

 **scarlet sister:** petey is so two faced

 **katniss:** what u mean

 **scarlet sister:** he constantly takes the piss outta tony but is also such a fan boy???

 **scarlet sister:** [ **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_ | mr S T A N K told him that I like to make hats for dum-e and shOWED THE GUY MY BLUEPRINTS FOR MY MINI R2-D2]

 **scarlet sister:** [ **spidey** **✓** _@iamspiderman_ | Tony Stark lives life in god mode]

 **katniss:** spidey stans iron man while parker wants to strangle tony

 **yeeter barker:** it’s the truth

 **tin can:** Huh

 **yeeter barker:** hey mr stark can we get ice cream

 **tin can:** Sure

 **katniss:** peter has him wrapped around his finger lmao

-

 **scarlet sister:** HEY EVERYONE

 **scarlet sister:** NO ONE TRUST PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

 **blue balls:** Why?

 **cap stan:** What he do this time

 **scarlet sister:** HE CONVINCED VIS TO DRINK BLEACH????????

 **cap stan:** W h at

 **tin can:** He WHAT

 **scarlet sister:** CONTROL UR KID STARK

-

 **yeeter barker:** h aha…. im in danger

 

 

**_CHAPTER 15: team bug_ **

_Team Avengers_

**tin can:** Why the fuck is Peter in Detroit with Romanoff

 **blue balls:** Road trip Nat said.

 **blue balls:** I doubt they expected aliens though Tony.

 **uncle rhodey:** It’s lucky they were there to be honest

 **tin can:** I have a heart condition he is grounded for the rest of his life

 **mama spider:** do u mind im kickin ass rn

 **tin can:** Tash I swear to god

 **blue balls:** We’re on our way Nat. Hang in there.

-

 **cap stan:** [ **Peter Parker** **✓** _@peterparkour_ | captain america has had blue balls since he woke up because he wasn’t defrosted properly]

 **cap stan:** Comedy gold

 **yeeter barker:** aunt nat said they forgot his brain cells too lmaooooo

 **mama spider:** it’s the truth

 **yeeter barker:** MR BARNES,,,,,

 **yeeter barker:** why would u say that

 **cap stan:** ??

 **yeeter barker:** [ **Bucky Barnes** **✓** _@JBuckyBarnes_ | Can confirm both of these]

 **tin can:** Wow

 **blue balls:** BUCK WHY

 **cap stan:** Hahahhahaaha

**-**

_yeeter barker added Hope van Dyne to the chat._

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Hope van Dyne to queen bug._

**yeeter barker:** hi hope!!!!!!!!

 **queen bug:** Hi Peter!!

 **bug bro:** Yoooooo team BUG!

 **mama spider:** :D

 **katniss:** y’all’re adorable

**_CHAPTER 16: alien refugees and a broken kare bear_ **

_Team Avengers_

**Bruce:** You guys have been busy

_tin can changed the nickname for Bruce Banner to little green._

**little green:** Are you trying to piss him off???

 **yeeter barker:** BRUCE BANNER??????

 **yeeter barker:** HOLY SHIT

 **yeeter barker:** ILL BE THERE IN A MINUTE

 **tin can:** Kid you what

 **tin can:** It takes like 2 - 3 hours to get here by car

 **yeeter barker:** IVE WEBBED A PLANE FLYING OVER

 **yeeter barker:** DW MR STARK ITS PERFECTLY SAFE

 **blue balls:** Oh god.

 **mama spider:** rip peter parker

 **katniss:** f in chat boys

 **cap stan:** F

 **bird boy:** F

 **windows xp:** F.

 **scarlet sister:** f

-

 **yeeter barker:** I made thor twitter

 **tin can:** Every single grey hair I have is because of you

-

_yeeter barker added Thor and Loki to the chat._

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Thor to thunder thighs._

_yeeter barker changed the nickname for Loki to snek._

**thunder thighs:** Excellent

 **snek:** sure

 **snek:** does this mean im an avenger now

 **snek:** ill kill anyone who hurts the arachnid

 **yeeter barker:** hell yeah

 **tin can:** How about hell No

 **scarlet sister:** if Thor trusts him I think we can give him a chance

 **katniss:** you weren’t in ny in 2012

 **thunder thighs:** ABOU TTHat

 **thunder thighs:** LOKI Was being controlled by the Sceptre to invade

 **thunder thighs:** Yes Loki has questionable morals But invading New York was not his choice

 **tin can:** Yeah but he’s still a dick

 **blue balls:** Who sent him then?

 **snek:** a Titan

 **snek:** he seeks to destroy half of all life in the universe

 **uncle rhodey:** What’s his name?

 **snek:** Thanos

 **yeeter barker:** WHAT

 **snek:** you okay…??

 **yeeter barker:** theres something you guys need to know

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUP WORMS


End file.
